The ceremony will begin in the normal way, with the bride, sometimes
on her father's arm (although this is a matter of personal choice),
and bridesmaids processing down the aisle to the groom and priest.
You and your groom may choose the alternative greeting ceremony.
In this version, just before the start of the ceremony the guests
will assemble in the church porch to greet you on your arrival.
You will then walk with the priest down the aisle to the altar,
followed by the guests. During the procession, an Entry Antiphon
(a passage from the bible which may be sung or recited) may be used
or a hymn sung. You will then sit or kneel on special cushions,
which are usually decorated satin.
If you have chosen a wedding without having a mass, the service
begins with a welcome from the priest and the congregation are invited
to make the sign of the cross. An opening prayer is spoken by the
priest, after which the congregation are invited to sit. Readings
from the Old or New Testament follow. The priest then speaks about
the mystery of Christian marriage, the dignity that wedded love
holds, the grace of the sacrament and the responsibilities that
married people possess.
He will address both of you, reminding you of your life within the
Church:
"My dear friends/Dearly beloved, you have come together in this
church so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the
presence of the Church's minister and this community. Christ abundantly
blesses this love. He has already consecrated you in this baptism
and now he enriches and strengthens you by a special sacrament so
that you may assume the duties of marriage in mutual and lasting
fidelity. And so, in the presence of the Church, I ask you to state
your intentions."
The congregation will stand while the priest addresses the couple
by asking them three questions:
- "Have you come here freely and without reservation to give
yourself to each other in marriage?"
- " Will you love and honour each other as man and wife for
the rest of your lives?"
- "Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them
up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"(This one may
be excluded if you are an older couple.)
You both answer the questions separately, and declare that you know
of no lawful impediments that would prevent you from marrying. The
priest will then ask you to give their consent to marriage by saying, "Since it is your intention to enter into this marriage, join your
right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church."
The bride's father, relative or friend may take your hand and place
it in your groom's. You will exchange vows, with your groom reciting
his before you. Your groom will say:
"I, Richard, take you, Judy, to be my wife. I promise to be true
to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will
love you and honour you all the days of my life."
To which you will answer:
"I, Judy, take you, Richard, to be my husband. I promise to be
true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health.
I will love you and honour you all the days of my life."
There will be occasions when the priest, for pastoral reasons, will,
instead, obtain your consent to the marriage through questions saying:
"Judy, do you take Richard to be your husband? Do you promise
to be true to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health,
to love him and honour him all the days of your life?"
To which you will respond:
"I do."There has never been the option of using the vow 'to
obey' in the Catholic Church.
Once you have both given your consent, the priest will announce:
"You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord
in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his
blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide. Amen."
Your best man will place the rings on the priest's prayer book and
the exchange of wedding rings takes place after the priest has blessed
the rings and made the sign of the cross over them:
"May the Lord bless these rings which you give to each other
as the sign of your love and fidelity. Amen."
This will either be done in the ordinary way, or the groom will
first put the ring on the bride's thumb, then three fingers in turn
and say:
"With this ring, I thee wed, in the name of the Father, Son and
Holy Ghost. Amen."
As the groom promises his bride: "With all my worldly goods I
thee endow", he may give her some small coins as a token of
his vow. You repeat his words or may choose to use another version
such as, "Take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In
the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the holy Spirit."
A Bidding Prayer spoken by the priest follows the exchange of vows
and you are asked to seal your union at the end by kissing each
other, unless you chose to have a mass in which case you kiss when
the mass has been said.
If you have chosen to have a wedding with a Nuptial Mass, the bridesmaids
will take their seats in a reserved pew at the front. The pair of
you will return to the sanctuary where you kneel, often on cushions.
The Mass continues with a variety of prayers, including the emotive
Rite of Peace, when the priest will speak about peace and unity.
Once the Rite is recited, you, your husband and the congregation
will appropriately show your love and wishes for peace for one another.
This often involves shaking hands and wishing one another peace
using the words, 'may peace be with you'.
During the Holy Communion, those involved will walk down the centre
aisle, and when they have received the Eucharist, will come back
up the sides of the aisle to their seats. The priest will give Communion
to the bride and groom first. A prayer will be said at the conclusion
of the Eucharist.
After a final blessing, you and your husband, as well as the wedding
party, will move into the sacristy to make the civil declaration
and sign the register. A hymn of thanksgiving may be sung throughout the signing of the register.
Once that has finished, the priest will introduce you as a newly
married couple. Some people may applaud depending on the local custom.
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