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| Hindu
Ceremonies - Gujarati |
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Gujarati weddings come from the west of India and have variations
on the Typical Wedding
Ceremony.
Your groom arrives at the temple (pokavu) either on horseback
or, more commonly, by car. His friends and relatives celebrate by
dancing to the accompaniment of a band. He has the tikka (red
dye) applied to his forehead on arrival. As well as performing
aarati (garlanding), your mother grabs his nose gently to symbolise
the tradition of a groom rubbing his nose on the door to ask the bride's
parents' permission to marry you.
To symbolise your acceptance of your groom, you place a garland around
his neck (jayamala) when he arrives because during the ceremony
it is hard for you to garland your groom, as he will stand on a higher
level than you to symbolise that he is more superior and prouder than
you.
Your groom walks to the mendap (marriage tent) by himself for
the Madhuparka ceremony where his feet are washed and he eats
milk and honey. While he is eating, your sisters steal his shoes and
he has to buy them back at the end of the day. This is intended to
add a humorous note to the otherwise serious event.
Instead of walking with your maternal uncle to the mendap, he carries
you (kanya agamana) - a tradition started in the days of child
marriages. The curtain (antarpat) separating you and your groom
is lowered and you exchange garlands.
This is the part in the ceremony where your father gives you away
by kanya danam (handing over) or hasta milap (taking
of hands). Your hand is placed on your groom's and then on the mangal-kalash.
This earthenware pot has a swastika (ancient sign of peace and an
auspicious symbol for Hindus) painted in vermilion (red dye) and a
coconut with five mango leaves on top of it. The Gujaratis have their
own traditional ceremony, which differs from the typical wedding ceremony at this point: during the varala ceremony, your parents and
other relatives place a lucky cord around both of your necks to ward
off evil.
Instead of walking around the fire the customary seven times, Gujaratis
perform this rite only four times to symbolise the four basic human
goals (dharma, artha, kama and moksha). In past times,
when you and your husband finished the fourth circuit, you would race
to see who sat first in order to see who would be the most dominant
and it would be a chance for you to show your cunning and intelligence.
Nowadays, it has just become a competition between you and your groom
- make sure that you win it!
The Seven Steps (sapta padi) also differ from the typical Hindu
wedding in that instead of facing north and walking seven steps together
as you recite the desired blessings, your groom help you to touch
seven betel nuts with your right toe while you both recite the words.
Your groom signifies your change in status from a single woman to
a married one by painting the centre parting of your hair with the
red dye, vermilion (sindoor danam).
As you are standing at the altar, several of your married female relatives
whisper blessings into your ear (saubhagvati bhava) and your
groom intercedes when it is your mother's turn by grabbing your sari
or dress in an act known as chero pakarvo. This was traditionally
an excuse for the groom to ask your family for the ring and gifts
that they owed him.
With the ceremony finished, you and your husband are expected to touch
the feet of both sets of parents and the priest's to ask for their
blessing (aashirwaad) on your marriage.
After you leave, you both go to your new husband's house to play aeki-beki.
A ring and several coins are placed in a tray containing vermilion
and milk so that you cannot see where they are. Whoever finds the
ring four times will be the dominant partner.
At the end of the day, prayers are offered to God asking for love
and happiness for both of you.
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