WeddingGuideUK.com - Hindu Ceremonies Gujarati

Hindu Ceremonies - Gujarati

Introduction
Gujarati weddings come from the west of India and have variations on the Typical Wedding Ceremony.

Your groom arrives at the temple (pokavu) either on horseback or, more commonly, by car. His friends and relatives celebrate by dancing to the accompaniment of a band. He has the tikka (red dye) applied to his forehead on arrival. As well as performing aarati (garlanding), your mother grabs his nose gently to symbolise the tradition of a groom rubbing his nose on the door to ask the bride's parents' permission to marry you.

To symbolise your acceptance of your groom, you place a garland around his neck (jayamala) when he arrives because during the ceremony it is hard for you to garland your groom, as he will stand on a higher level than you to symbolise that he is more superior and prouder than you.

Your groom walks to the mendap (marriage tent) by himself for the Madhuparka ceremony where his feet are washed and he eats milk and honey. While he is eating, your sisters steal his shoes and he has to buy them back at the end of the day. This is intended to add a humorous note to the otherwise serious event.

Instead of walking with your maternal uncle to the mendap, he carries you (kanya agamana) - a tradition started in the days of child marriages. The curtain (antarpat) separating you and your groom is lowered and you exchange garlands.

This is the part in the ceremony where your father gives you away by kanya danam (handing over) or hasta milap (taking of hands). Your hand is placed on your groom's and then on the mangal-kalash. This earthenware pot has a swastika (ancient sign of peace and an auspicious symbol for Hindus) painted in vermilion (red dye) and a coconut with five mango leaves on top of it. The Gujaratis have their own traditional ceremony, which differs from the typical wedding ceremony at this point: during the varala ceremony, your parents and other relatives place a lucky cord around both of your necks to ward off evil.

The Marriage Fire
Instead of walking around the fire the customary seven times, Gujaratis perform this rite only four times to symbolise the four basic human goals (dharma, artha, kama and moksha). In past times, when you and your husband finished the fourth circuit, you would race to see who sat first in order to see who would be the most dominant and it would be a chance for you to show your cunning and intelligence. Nowadays, it has just become a competition between you and your groom - make sure that you win it!

The Seven Steps
The Seven Steps (sapta padi) also differ from the typical Hindu wedding in that instead of facing north and walking seven steps together as you recite the desired blessings, your groom help you to touch seven betel nuts with your right toe while you both recite the words.

Your groom signifies your change in status from a single woman to a married one by painting the centre parting of your hair with the red dye, vermilion (sindoor danam).
As you are standing at the altar, several of your married female relatives whisper blessings into your ear (saubhagvati bhava) and your groom intercedes when it is your mother's turn by grabbing your sari or dress in an act known as chero pakarvo. This was traditionally an excuse for the groom to ask your family for the ring and gifts that they owed him.

With the ceremony finished, you and your husband are expected to touch the feet of both sets of parents and the priest's to ask for their blessing (aashirwaad) on your marriage.

After you leave, you both go to your new husband's house to play aeki-beki. A ring and several coins are placed in a tray containing vermilion and milk so that you cannot see where they are. Whoever finds the ring four times will be the dominant partner.

At the end of the day, prayers are offered to God asking for love and happiness for both of you.

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