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According to the west Indian Maharashtrian tradition, weddings bring
hope, joy and permanence for all involved but your chosen partner
has to be exactly right for you and this is determined by the stars
and individual compatibility. Once both of your families have agreed
on the match, your stars are shown to the Brahmins for matching
points (Gun-Milan) and only if the pair of you match on sixteen
points or more will you be deemed a suitable match.
The elders in your families arrange a baithak where they
meet and consult the horoscopes to decide on the most auspicious
time for the wedding and discuss other important issues about the
ceremony. An engagement ceremony (sakharpuda) is held either
on the day before the wedding or the wedding day itself. During
this, you are given a sari by your groom's family to welcome you
into their family and your wrists are decorated with green bangles
to symbolise your engagement. The pack of sugar you are given represents
the spreading of sweetness by your marriage and only after the formal
engagement are invitation cards printed.
As a Maharashtrian bride, you are one of the most lusciously dressed
of all Hindu brides as you wear the richest of colours and adorned
with jewellery. Wearing the traditional colours of either emerald-green
or topaz, your wedding sari (shalu) is complemented with
lavish jewellery from the traditional Maharashtrian pearl tanmani
(necklace) with its filigreed gold beads to gold and pearl bangles
intermingled with green glass ones symbolising prosperity and good
luck. If you are fortunate, you also wear gold and diamond earrings
and rings. Your hair is dressed for the occasion and decorated with
strings of fresh flowers (gajra and veni).
Your groom dresses to impress with a white dhoti (coat),
kurta (long, dress-like shirt), trousers, a traditional boat-shaped
cap, rings and a gold chain.
Your maternal uncle (mama) takes you to the mendap
(wedding tent) while the Brahmins chant mantras and recitations.
By this time your groom, also brought by his maternal uncle, is
waiting impatiently for you and you stand facing each other, separated
by a white cloth bearing the sign of the swastika (a lucky symbol
in Hindu culture) while you both hold garlands. Your witnesses (karavali)
stand next to each of you, holding a water-filled bowl and a coconut.
The priest invites the gods to witness your marriage and recitations
are made which last for a few minutes, culminating in the cry, 'shuba
mangala savdhan' at which point the white cloth is removed and
you and your groom get to see each other. Both of you are showered
in coloured rice and you garland your groom, touch his feet and
ask for his blessing while he garlands you in return. Five married
ladies (savashini) from the two families come forward and
garland you both.
Your father gives you away by loosely binding your hand to your
groom's (kanya danam) and sprinkling you both with holy water.
The Fire God must be appeased by the ceremony of Homs and, after
this, your groom puts the mangal sutra (gold chain, sometimes
with black beads) around your neck. He also puts jodave (toe
rings) on your toes before putting sindoor on your forehead, showing
that you are a married woman and very important to him.
Standing in front of your groom with your hands touching, you offer
grains to the fire. Your brother gives you grains symbolising that,
even in bad times, he will be supportive. By pulling your groom's
ears, your brother reminds him to look after you for the rest of
your life.
Holding each other by your right hands, you walk around the fire
seven times with your clothes tied to his shawl and you both vow
to live together in peace and harmony. Your groom leads you for
the first five circles but you are expected to precede him over
the final two to show that you will take the burden of bad times
before him.
Praying to the Goddess Laxmi, you are given a new name by your groom
who writes it in a bowl of the rice using a gold ring.
The Maharashtrian feast is renowned for its flavours. After the
marriage is solemnized, the guests sit down to a meal served on
a banana leaf, generally at lunchtime. Wholly vegetarian and without
any onion or garlic, dishes include a selection of vegetables in
coconut gravy, green mango chutney, cucumber and peanut salad, golden
daal and sweet dishes including the rich saffron-scented shrikhand.
Coriander-flavoured, salted buttermilk (mattha) is served
as a drink and the sumptuous feast usually ends with a sweet paan.
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