|
Quakerism is a term used to describe members
of the Religious Society of Friends, the movement started in the
middle of the 17th century as a splinter group from the Christian
Church. The Quakers believe that there is part of God in everybody,
and that God works through people. The Quaker religion has no ministers
or vicars and Quaker services, called meetings, are mostly conducted
in silence.
There are four testimonies of the Quaker religion: peace, equality/community,
simplicity and integrity, and members try to live their lives by
these. Quakers are traditionally pacifists and are known as conscientious
objectors during times of war.
A couple wishing to have a Quaker wedding must make an application
to the registering officer at the Friend's monthly meeting. This
must be received about six weeks before the date of the intended
wedding. The couple must state that they are members of the Religious
Society of Friends when giving notice of marriage. If only one partner
is a member of the Society, the other will be asked to state that
they are in sympathy with the nature of the marriage and they must
provide letters of recommendation from two other members. Sometimes,
people who are not Friends wish to use the Quaker marriage ceremony.
The members at a monthly meeting will decide whether to allow the
Quaker marriage ceremony to be used by non-members.
Once the formalities have been completed, the registering officer
will issue a form that needs to be taken to the superintendent registrar
when notice is given. The legal requirements to be fulfilled are those
that apply to civil marriages.
However, if the building in which the couple wish to marry is in a
different registration district to the area of residence, proof needs
to be given to the superintendent registrar that the building is the
normal place of worship. If this is not possible, notice needs to
be given in the registration district in which the building is situated,
after the necessary residency requirement has been met. If there is
no building in the registration district in which the couple live,
permission will be given to marry in a building in the nearest registration
district that has one.
Once the certificate of marriage has been obtained from the superintendent
registrar, it needs to be produced on the day of the marriage ceremony.
Whilst the Quakers recognise divorce, it is seen as a failure -
not only by the couple, but also by the people who silently promised
during the wedding ceremony to help them. The couple deciding to
separate will be offered support from other members, and be encouraged
to make the separation as positive an experience as possible.
Already-divorced people are able to marry within a Quaker meeting,
as long as they are legally free to do so and have satisfied the
members that they are ready to make this commitment. A Quaker wishing
to be remarried must explain their situation before the members
at a monthly meeting, to get permission to re-marry in front of
the meeting. The marriage may only take place once this has been
granted.
A wedding may take place at any time and in any venue, but is usually
at the Meeting House. The Religious Society of Friends believes
it is important that the marriage should be part of the ordinary
meeting of the Friends, and should be quiet and simple, and, like
their normal meetings, held on the basis of silent communication
of spirit.
The bride and groom, as well as the guests, are dressed simply,
in fitting with the rest of the ceremony. Sometimes the bride will
wear white, but she may also choose something that can be worn again.
The groom will probably wear a dark suit along with a buttonhole.
Guests are generally not welcome to take photographs during the
ceremony itself as this may disturb those in prayer.
Guests can be invited to the meeting, whether or not they are Quakers.
The bride and groom sit at the front of the group and face everyone.
At the start of the meeting it is usual for a Friend to briefly
explain the procedures of a Quaker wedding. The congregation are
free to stand and speak, or may choose to remain silent. There is
no procession at the start of the ceremony, no music or minister
present, although there may be more flowers decorating the room
than usual.
Early on during the meeting, when they feel that it is the right
time, the bride and groom stand up, hold hands and make their solemn
declaration of marriage. The bride and groom will say the following
words:
Friends, I take this my friend, Mark/Julie, to be my husband/wife,
promising, through Divine assistance (or with God's help), to be unto
him/her a loving and faithful husband/wife, so long as we both on
earth shall live.
Elders may allow a variation to these words, and the form of the
vows will be agreed beforehand. After the couple have taken their
vows, the bride and groom and two witnesses, often parents of the
bride or groom, sign the elaborately decorated marriage certificate,
which is then read aloud to family, friends and members. The meeting
is continued after the couple sit down again. A period of silence
follows, during which anyone present is allowed to pray for God's
blessing on the couple, and commit him or herself to supporting
the couple however they can. The whole congregation will also sign
the certificate, as they were all witnesses to the marriage, but
this is often carried out after the meeting itself has finished.
The meeting continues in the normal way, with friends speaking
as they see fit, or remaining quiet. Later two of the Elders stand
and shake hands to solemnise the marriage and to show the end of
the meeting.
The exchange of wedding rings is not a formal part of the Quaker
marriage ceremony, although some couples like to incorporate it
into the service after the vows have been taken. An increasing number
of Quaker women retain their own family names as a sign of equality
between the sexes.
For further information and advice please contact the Religious
Society of Friends at 173-177 Euston Road, London, NW1 2BJ. Tel:
020-7663 1000.
|
