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Sikh Ceremonies

A Typical Wedding Ceremony
The marriage ceremony does not have to take place at a Sikh temple; it may be conducted at the bride's home or another place where Sri Guru Granth Sahib is installed. At the ceremony, the groom is seated first. The bride is led to her seat by her mother and best friend, and is seated on the groom's left. The couple sit facing the Pathi, the officiator who reads from the holy book. Any good Sikh - male or female - may officiate at the marriage ceremony. The couple and their parents stand and bow to Sri Guru Granth Sahib to show their consent to the marriage.

The ceremony opens with the singing of the Asa di Var, the Gurus' morning hymn. Other hymns may also be sung at this time. The Pathi will make sure that the couple are Sikhs, and that they agree to marry. The couple and their parents are asked to stand while the Pathi prays to the God Almighty, asking his blessing for the marriage before sitting while a short hymn is sung:

Before undertaking anything,
Seek the grace of God,
By the grace of the True Guru,
Who in the company of saints
Expounds the truth,
Success is attained.
It is with the true Guru
That we taste the ambrosia
O thou destroyer of fear,
And embodiment of mercy,
Bestow Thy grace on Thy servant,
Nanak says by praising God,
We apprehend the infinite.

After which the Pathi makes a speech explaining the significance of Sikh marriage:

The Sikh Gurus had a very high regard for the state of marriage, and they themselves entered into matrimony. They insisted that the marriage is not merely a civil or a social contract, but it's highest and most ideal purpose is to fuse two souls into one so that they may become spiritually inseparable. Because the Sikh Gurus believed in the equality of the women with men, they enjoined that the women also should be taught a sound knowledge of their religion, so that by having common religious knowledge, the couple would be better able to cultivate the same basic aims in life and thus achieve harmony of outlook. A married couple should not find too much difficulty in achieving true and lasting love through a deep spiritual bond on union.

The couple are asked whether they have been baptised (Amrit) and they will be advised to do so if they have not already. The Pathi then proceeds to give a lecture on marriage:

The bride should know no other man except her husband, so the Guru ordains. She alone is of good family; she alone shines with light who adorned with love of her husband. There is only one way to the heart of the beloved to be humble and true and to do his bidding; only thus is true union attained. They are not man and wife who only have physical contact; only they are truly wedded who have one spirit in two bodies. Ask the happy one by what ways they have the beloved. They answer, by sweetness of speech and the beauty of contentment. A loaf of bread and bare earth for a bed in the company of the beloved, is full happiness. Let humility be the word, resignation the offering, the tongue be the mint of sweet speech. Adopt these habits, dear sister, then you will have him in your power. Another person's property, another man's wife, talking ill of another poison one's life. Like the touch of the poisonous snake is the touch of another man's wife.

After the lecture, the Pathi asks the bride and groom to signify their approval to their marriage and if they agree to accept their duties. They bow before Sri Guru Granth Sahib to acknowledge their consent. The bride's father places a garland of flowers on the holy book, and on the bride and groom. He also places one end of the patka (scarf) in the groom's hand, over the groom's shoulder and into the bride's hand. The bride's father will then tie part of the patka to the bride's headpiece, the knot symbolising the couple's unity. Once they are joined, they take their sacred vows, followed by a short hymn:

Praise and blame I both forsake,
I seize the edge of your garment.
All else I let pass.
All relationships I found false.
I cling to thee my Lord.

The Lavan marriage hymn is read with the groom, followed by the bride, walking around Sri Guru Granth Sahib in a clockwise direction at the completion of each of the four verses which symbolise the four stages of love. After each circuit, the bride and groom kneel and bow towards Sri Guru Granth Sahib. They are only married once they have made four circuits. After the couple and their relatives have walked around the holy book, the parents and grandparents of the couple stand up, to show their regard to the fact that they will support the couple. The couple bow when they reach the front of the holy book and take their seats

The first verse describes the preparation and justification for the state of marriage, which is encouraged and supported as the best state of life for a Sikh. It rejects the idea that the religious person who dedicates his life to God should remain single.

The second verse describes the first feeling of love when the bride has left her old life behind and begins the new life of partnership with her husband.

The third verse describes the bride's detachment from the world and outside influences, when she becomes more deeply devoted to her husband and wishes to live only for him.

The fourth verse tells of the most perfect love and devotion when no feeling of separation is possible between the two. On the purely spiritual plane, it would be as if the two souls have reached complete union with God and have found perfect joy of his love.

The marriage ceremony is concluded with the singing of the six stanzas of the Anand hymn, which was written by Guru Ram Das, after which Ardas (a prayer) is spoken, with the whole congregation joining in. The final point of the ceremony is a reading of a verse from the holy book, followed by the serving of sacred food to the congregation made from flour and sugar, known as Karah Prashad.

Everyone present at the wedding ceremony walks up to the front to congratulate the newly married couple. Some guests may place their hands on the heads of the bride and groom, as a blessing. Another tradition that may take place at this point is that of placing a token sum of money in to the pink scarf still held by the bride and groom. A civil marriage may be required after the Sikh ceremony, for legal reasons if it does not take place in a temple.

Continue to the Sikh Glossary
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