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If you are getting married by civil ceremony in the United Kingdom,
for example, in a register office or an approved
premises then you may be allowed to include your own choice
of vows in addition to the statutory words that legally bind
you as husband and wife. Although there is nothing in law to
prevent you from including your own vows, some registrars have
fixed views about what they will and will not permit. If your
registrar will not allow you much freedom, you can ask to have
another registrar appointed (from the same register office)
who may be more flexible, but don't leave it until the last
minute. In all cases, your registrar has the last word!
If you are looking for an even more personalised wedding ceremony
in a civil venue or even in a beautiful garden or marquee, then
think about a Humanist wedding. This is a non-denomination celebration
of a couple's love for each other and the bride and groom can
write, or have influence over, every word of your ceremony.
It is not a legally-binding ceremony so you will either need
to have a separate register office wedding or, if you are marrying
at a venue that is licensed for weddings, a registrar can perform
the legal service for you at the same time.
An official Humanist Celebrant will provide you with some examples
of a standard ceremony and help you to decide which elements
you wish to include for your big day. You can then add or adapt
words depending on what you want to say to each other.
The minimum vows required for your marriage to be legal
are as follows. These words must be said by both of you and
be used somewhere in your ceremony. You will usually be allowed
to add your own choice of vows before or after the statutory
words:
In England and Wales the statutory declaration is:
"I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful
impediment why I, [your name], may not be joined in matrimony
to [your partner's name]."
followed by these contracting words:
"I call upon these persons here present to witness
that I, [your name], do take thee [your partner's name] to be
my lawful wedded husband [or wife]."
In Scotland the couple say:
"I solemnly declare that I know of no legal impediment
why I, [your name], may not be joined in matrimony to [your
partner's name]. I accept [and [or wife]."
In Northern Ireland the statutory declaration is:
"I know of no lawful impediment why I, [your name],
may not be joined in matrimony to [your partner's name]. I,
[your name], take you [your partner's name] to be my lawful
wedded husband [or wife]."
In England and Wales there are two alternatives to the statutory
declaratory and contracting words given above. These can be
found in our article covering the legal requirements for getting
married in England and Wales.
Why
not treat yourself to Confetti's Wedding
Reading and Vows pocket size book. With
a hige selcetion of poetry and prose, you're bound to find
the inspiration you need!
If you still have any unanswered questions about writing your own vows,
please post your question on our Wedding Forum.
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