If you are confident about your ability to learn your vows
you may prefer to recite them while making eye contact with
each other. However, if you feel that your nerves will get
the better of you and that you will 'clam up' or, worse still,
get an attack of the giggles, you may prefer to read them
from a card. Alternatively, your registrar or Celebrant can
read out your vows for you to repeat. Whatever you decide,
try to speak clearly and loudly because your guests will be
eager to hear what you have to say.
When you make personalised vows at a civil wedding it is likely
that they will be included at the end of the statutory declaration.
Here are some suggestions for additional vows that can be
made by couples holding a civil or Humanist ceremony:
"I promise to love and respect you and to put energy
into keeping our love alive. I will be there for you in good
times and bad. I will help you when you need help and make
space for you to be yourself. I will try to bring you happiness."
"I will dedicate myself to you wholeheartedly. I will
make time for you and support you in everything you do. I
will help you to raise our children to become loving people,
and support you in the fundamental role of parent."
"I pledge my life to you. I will love, honour and respect
you, in the happy and sad times. I promise to be faithful
only to you as long as we both live."
"I, Claire Suzanne, promise to love and cherish you,
Jonathan Anthony, for the rest of your life. I will try to
bring laughter to your life, and make you happy. I will consider
you in the decisions I have to make, and value your opinions.
Today I vow to be your wife for the rest of our lives."
"I will seek to always be loving unto you, I will share
your joys and your sorrows, and will be devoted unto you until
the ultimate parting."
"Claire, I, Jonathan, take you to be my wife. I will
love you, comfort you, honour and protect you, and, forsaking
all others, be faithful to you as long as we both shall live."
"I Jonathan, take you, Claire, to be my wife. To have
and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love
and to cherish till death us do part, and this is my solemn
vow."
You
may wish to include references to your guests, for example:
"I Claire, in front of our friends and family, promise
to"
"I, Claire, take you, Jonathan, to be my husband, for
better and for worse."
"I ask everyone present to witness that I openly take
Claire to be my wife."
"I ask everyone present to witness that I promise to
spend my life with Claire."
Some
couples prefer to use grander words in their vows as they feel
it gives the ceremony a more official note. However, a mixture
of formal and informal language would make the ceremony accessible
for all and the most important thing is for you to feel that
the vows come from your hearts.
There are a variety of ways for couples to make vows. The registrar
or Celebrant can read the vows before the couple say them, or
can ask questions for the couple to reply to. The first examples
are for the couple to remember, read or repeat after:
"Claire Suzanne, today I am promising to respect you
always. I will share the good and bad times with you, be a
support and guide. Above all, I will love you from now until
our days end."
"I, Jonathan Anthony, promise to be to you, Claire Suzanne,
a true and loving companion. I promise to be the best husband
and parent that I can be, and to commit myself forever to
our relationship together."
"Today I promise to you to be your husband/wife. I will
be faithful and honest, loving and trustworthy. I will seek
to bring you stability and order in our chaotic world. I will
be your partner and friend for life."
"Claire, in this beautiful garden I dedicate myself to
you. Although our love may change like the seasons, I will
love you. As our love grows like a seed to a beautiful flower,
I will love you. When the winds of doubt blow through, I will
love you. We will stand together, strong, nurtured by each
other's love until the end."
Or
you may choose vows in a question and answer format with each
partner repeating the answers. For example:
Registrar/Celebrant: Jonathan Anthony, today you have come
to promise to share your life with Claire Suzanne. Do you
promise to love and protect her, to be faithful to her, and
to be always supporting and understanding?
Jonathan: I do.
Registrar/Celebrant: We have come together today to witness
the vows that Claire and Jonathan are about to make. Jonathan,
do you now agree to take Claire as your wife, understanding
and expecting that she will be your partner for life? Will
you love her, support her and help her to achieve her potential?
Will you share your love, through whatever is to come, until
the end of your life?
Groom: I will.
Alternatively,
you may prefer...
Registrar/Celebrant: Claire and Jonathan have decided that
they wish to make a declaration of their love for each other,
and to promise to be together for life. Jonathan, do you today
promise to be a loving and loyal husband to Claire? Will you
share your life with her, help her through her troubles and
accept her help through yours? Will you endeavour at all times
to be honest, understanding and respectful?
Groom: I will
If
there are children involved in your relationship then it is
a wonderful touch to include them in your wedding vows. Because
this set of vows asks for a response from your guests which
they will not expect in a civil ceremony, it is a good idea
to nominate family or close friends to respond on behalf of
the congregation.
Groom: Today, Claire, I ask you to be my wife. To be loving,
tolerant and loyal, supporting me in my life. I ask that you
vow to do your best for our relationship, and our lives together.
Will you promise this?
Bride: I will. And I ask you, Jonathan, to be my husband.
To be devoted and faithful, loving and supporting me and working
for the good of our relationship. Will you promise this?
Groom: I will.
Registrar/Celebrant: As Jonathan and Claire come together
as husband and wife, they create a new family. The children
of Jonathan and Claire are now going to ask for a promise
from their parents.
Children (together or taking one line each): Will you accept
us as part of your family together? Will you love and care
for us? Will you guide us and support us?
Bride and Groom: We will
Registrar/Celebrant: Today Jonathan, Claire and their children
have made a new family, and together they promise to consider
each other, to be loving, respectful and devoted to each other.
We ask those present to help us. Will you promise this?
All: We will.
Why
not treat yourself to Confetti's Wedding
Reading and Vows pocket size book. With
a hige selcetion of poetry and prose, you're bound to find
the inspiration you need!
If you still have any unanswered questions about writing your
own vows,
please post your question on our Wedding Forum.
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