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We
had an amazing day. The foul March weather suddenly
cleared up and the sun shone for us and our 300 guests.
We were able to have a wonderful wedding and a two week
honeymoon, in England, for £1500!
With the average cost of a wedding estimated at £15,000,
we were recently married on a much lower budget. We
would like to reassure people, especially those on a
low income that it is still possible to get married
and have a lovely wedding without being saddled with
enormous debt.
We met on the internet. We were both involved with different
Christian projects which brought us together by email.
After a few weeks, we realised that we were going to
attend the same event and arranged to meet. One thing
led to another. We got on so well and had similar interests.
We fell in love and wanted to be together as much as
possible.
We decided to get engaged quite early in our relationship.
We expected to wait three years before getting married,
because of the money situation. I had a good widow’s
pension but I had debts and Rob was on benefits as he
is blind and unable to work. As we are both Christians,
just living together was not on the agenda, so we soon
started thinking about (and praying for) answers to
our problem. We started sorting out our debts; working
out how much it would cost us to live together when
we were married and how to save money on our wedding
costs. By the end of the year, with the help of family
and friends, we were able to produce a joint budget
of our incomes and expenses. We were surprised to find
that we were going to have just enough, if we were both
very sensible. Well, we did pray!
We were very conscious that we were planning a marriage,
not just a wedding day. When we booked our wedding our
church pastor took us through a marriage preparation
course. Just the three of us together, so we felt free
to talk over personal issues. Partly to get us ready
for our wedding day, but more importantly to prepare
us for the ups and downs of our new relationship, for
marriage is for life. We discussed money issues, resolving
family conflicts and our different expectations in life
and in marriage. Each of us were given a list of twelve
expectations of marriage and asked to place them in
priority and to explain our reasons. We felt that we
knew each other much better because of this and were
able to talk through some delicate issues. We would
recommend this to every couple - it was a great start
to our marriage and has been of benefit to us since!
One big problem for us was our guest list. As well as
our families, we had hundreds of friends. We decided
to keep the official invitations to 100 guests and lay
on cake and refreshments to everyone else who came to
see our wedding in the church which meant an extra 200
people. We bought two ready-iced three-tier wedding
cakes from supermarkets and added fresh flowers ourselves.
A church friend, who is a professional caterer, organised
a marvellous buffet for the official reception with
non-alcoholic drink. This main reception cost £500,
including a delicious fruit punch at the beginning and
alcohol free wine for the toast. Everyone had such a
good time they forgot they were drinking soft drinks!
The second reception providing light refreshments for
the 200 unofficial guests cost us £50 for the cake,
tea, coffee and biscuits. We also had a 'bring your
own food and booze' party for the immediate family at
a nephew's house in the evening. The other pleasant
surprise was that, because Catherine was a church member,
it cost us only £20 to pay for the reception rooms.
The church wedding was free but we made a donation to
the music group who had volunteered their services.
We even had a gifted Christian trio, Trinity, to sing
as we were signing the register. As friends, this was
their wedding gift to us.
Yes,
there is always a way. Apart from those cost-cutting
items mentioned above we relied very much on family
and friends, who were delighted to help us.
Catherine’s elder son gave her away. A nephew's
smart company car with ribbons and a dried/silk flower
arrangement made by one of her sisters, was our bridal
transport. Catherine's younger son, an A-level art student,
borrowed a video camera and did an excellent job, as
did a friend who is a serious amateur photographer;
he charged us only for his costs. The bride's hair and
make-up were done as a gift by a niece who is training
as a hairdresser. Catherine wore no veil but had tiny
fresh flowers clipped into her hair. Her dress was an
ivory lace long sheath, with a matching lace jacket
from Debenhams evening/party range; it cost £100
for the set. Her ivory satin shoes were £30 from
a theatrical shop.
After the wedding we sent her outfit via Mission Aviation
Fellowship to an AIDS project in Uganda which ran a
bridal hire shop for needy families. Rob had a good
suit and shoes which were hardly used; we bought him
a new shirt for £20 and borrowed a flashy waistcoat
and matching tie and cufflinks. The bride's going-away
outfit was a skirt and top which no-one realised had
been bought in the January sales for £20!
We paid £25 for one little bridesmaids 'party'
dress and the mum of the second bridesmaid paid for
her daughter's dress herself.
As we bought the engagement ring (£149) from Samuels
they gave us a reduction on the price of our 2 Celtic-style
'three strand' wedding rings. These cost £168
together.
We bought the outer cards for the invitations and the
orders of service, and we produced the inside pages
on our computer. After our wedding, our thank-you cards
were a batch of Easter cards. We printed the inside
pages of them, once again using our own computer. The
total cost of all of this, including our printing, was
about £100. We seemed to find help at every step
of the way, even down to
Safeway giving discounts on postage stamps that Christmas!
Church members provided and arranged the church flowers
for the market price of the blooms. The bridal bouquet
and the bridesmaids’ posies came to £40.
We made the 50 buttonholes for £8 from supermarket
spray carnations and florist's tape with a family working
party and also used a £3 roll of florists ribbon
to make pink frothy bows to decorate the aisle seats.
As we considered and discussed the options, the theme
of our marriage service became clear. In the Bible Ecclesiastes
4:12 says, 'Though one may be overpowered, two can defend
themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.'
The third strand is God. This became the theme of our
wedding and our first reading during the ceremony. We
soon found that Christian Publicity Organisation produce
wedding stationery with this as the theme, so we ordered
the outer cards for the invitations and the orders of
service. Catherine printed the insides, even translating
none of them into Dutch for her late husband’s
family. They took her bouquet back to Holland to lay
on his grave as recognition of a new start in her life.
We planned the whole ceremony ourselves; the only part
that cannot be changed is the actual legal core of the
exchanging of vows. We married in Catherine's home church.
However, we had the ministers from both of our churches
taking part in the ceremony. After this, our ministers
laid their hands on our shoulders and prayed for the
success of our relationship.
The tone of the service was joyful and lively. Many
of our guests did not usually attend church but loved
the spirited singing and joyful atmosphere. One guest
even remarked that she felt an extra tingle from knowing
we had not been sharing our home together before our
marriage.
Catherine came in to the hymn 'Jesus stand among us'
by Graham Kendrick, then we had Rob's favourite 'Be
Thou my vision', the Celtic version with the accent
on the drums, the third hymn we chose was 'Amazing Grace'
played and sung with a jazz beat, we ended with 'How
Great Thou Art'.
Simon, a deaf/blind friend of ours, had written a very
special wedding prayer for us. This was included in
our printed order of service.
Many of our guests asked for
copies of our wedding video. They wanted to show it
to their friends. They said they had, 'never been to
a wedding quite like that one before and didn't know
how to describe it'! We know part of the difference
was that it was not just a wedding but the first day
of a married life together. No-one dictated to us how
to plan our wedding, or how much to spend. We had a
unique day and know that involving so many family and
friends gave them all great satisfaction. This has resulted
in them continuing to be interested in the course of
our marriage. We felt very loved and blessed on that
day and have felt blessed in the two years since then.
We have recently moved to Minehead and feel as if we
are still on honeymoon, even though we are both around
the 60 mark. We trusted God to provide for our needs
and we had a wonderful wedding day and two weeks honeymoon,
walking on Exmoor, for £1500!
Do
Differently: Nothing - it was perfect.
Grooms
Comments: Being a Geordie Rob is usually unfazed
by anything, but when we exchanged our vows he got so
choked up, especially on the 'till death us do part'
bit that he had to have several goes at saying it!
We run a website for blind people,
here is how we met, use
any of it you like: http://www.echurch-uk.org/lite/stories/carer.html
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