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Introduction
Take time for yourself
Get to know your husband
Film night
Don't worry
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Introduction
You’ve waited your whole life for your special day and then . .
. it’s over. With wedding thoughts consuming you for the past years,
months or weeks, is it any wonder that some brides feel low afterwards
and suffer from a touch of post-wedding blues?
PWB can affect brides in different ways with some bursting into
tears on their honeymoon and others feeling quiet and depressed
at work as they comes to terms with their new situation and the
end of their dream day. The reality is that a wedding is the start
of a special relationship but, all too often, the focus is on the
day and not the years ahead.
A wedding is the start of a marriage and one way to avoid or lessen
PWB is to focus on that. Many of you will feel exhausted after your
wedding but this is perfectly natural and nothing to worry about.
After so much effort, everything suddenly stops and your body will
try to catch up on all the sleep it has lost by your frantic scurrying
around and endless list making. Remember school holidays? You were
guaranteed to come down with something dreadful and this is exactly
the same. PWB starts when you cannot regain your energy or have
no interest in anything else. Your wedding day will be one of the
most exciting days of your life but it won’t be the only happy occasion
to which to look forward and this is what you need to focus on.
PWB keeps appearing on our forums so you’re not the
only person to feel this way. Try not to be too hard on yourself
– it’s perfectly natural and you will overcome it, just give it
time but also listen to some of our other brides who have offered
us cures for this demoralising feeling. By planning something a
fortnight or so after the wedding or honeymoon such as an evening
out in a good restaurant or a night in with friends, you will have
something fun on which to focus. Your brain has spent weeks planning,
so much so that several of you have even become involved in the
wedding industry itself. All of a sudden, this adrenaline rush is
finished and you can sink into depression out of sheer boredom,
no matter how wonderful your new husband is.
Even if you don’t have much money, treat yourself to little things
now and then. If you can’t afford a restaurant, have a takeaway
on a Friday night after a week at work or at home. Or cook a special
meal, maybe something to remind you of your honeymoon. Have a hot,
oiled bath by candlelight or ask your husband for a backrub if you
can’t afford or don’t wish to use a professional and treat him to
one in return.
For some of you, the major change will be living with your new husband.
His endearing habits may soon become extremely annoying as you yearn
for your own space and, if house-moving is coupled with stress at
work and not even a wedding on the horizon, is it any wonder that
you feel depressed?
Now that you are finally married, why not take the time to enjoy
it? Chase the blues away by body treatments. Reflexology is great
for easing away those troubles. If you don’t want someone to touch
your feet, ask for it to be done on your hands and you will find
it a fantastic way to ease all the aching muscles caused by writing
interminable thank you letters. Aromatherapy is also great for placating
the blues. Tell the aromatherapist what’s wrong and she’ll mix oils
especially for you. Treat yourself to an aromatherapy burner and
unwind in the comfort of your own home to the relaxing scent of
lavender as you curl up and start the novel you’ve been dying to
read but just never had the time.
It may sound stupid but when was the last time you had a conversation
which wasn’t about the wedding? Enjoy evenings in with no wedding
talk. Discuss what’s happening in your lives right now as well as
making plans for the future. Make a policy of having ‘special time’
where you go out for a meal or have a really good meal at home,
complete with candles on the table and all the romantic trimmings
of dining out without the expense. You will both be tired after
a long week, but you got married because you love each other and,
with PWB affecting the pair of you, you need to be reminded of the
pre-wedding joys of dating.
It’s worth noting that many husbands feel neglected by PWB, feeling
that you’re actually upset because you regret marrying them. You
need to reassure your new husband that you do love him and don’t
regret marrying him at all but that you are suffering from a valid
condition. Explain that it’s common amongst brides (although not
all of you will get it) and it isn’t anything to do with him but
that he can help you to get over it by supporting you through this
difficult time. Just promise to make up for it later.
Most of our brides have told us that they got over PWB by looking
through their photos and playing the video of their weddings. What
you have to remember is that the wedding day may be over but you
have beautiful mementoes of a very special day. Plan a night in
with friends and have a post-wedding hen party by inviting your
friends round to watch the video and see how great you all looked.
One of the best ways to share your wedding day and overcome PWB
is to make your own website. There are many firms, which deal in
this but look for ease of access, how easy it is to use, how long
it takes to be up and running and also how much it costs. Just think
of all of those jealous brides to be flicking through your photos.
It’s a great way to show your photos to all of your friends and
relatives who couldn’t make it to the day itself. Post your URL
on the Forum or submit a Featured
Wedding so we can all enjoy it!
Just be careful that you don’t become too fixated and spend all
of your time looking back at your wedding instead of forward to
your marriage.
The most important thing to remember is that PWB doesn’t last. I
promise… it may not feel like it at the time but things will get
better. We know this because of the feedback that we’ve received
on our Newly Weds Forum.
Not all brides will get it but those that do feel low, many of them
not expecting to feel so weepy after such an exciting event and
feeling even worse because of that. Follow our advice and remember
that. Anyway, you have the rest of your lives ahead of you to have
fun so get planning your next holiday,
home
and social life!
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