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| Ethnic and Cultural Wedding Traditions |
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For even more information about wedding traditions see our Traditions
article.
Many of you have asked for details of the
various wedding traditions and customs from around the world that
you can incorporate into your big day, so here are a few to get you
started.
Whatever country, religious heritage or culture you wish to honour
in your wedding ceremony and reception, there are some obvious places
to start. Ask relatives or friends for advice and ideas and decide
how far you want to carry a theme. For example, you may just want
to include the jumping the broom ceremony for an African touch or
you might decide to go all out with traditional costumes, food and
entertainment.
Picking colours synonymous with a culture is an easy way to theme
your day. For example, use the red that is traditionally good luck
for Asian weddings or green to represent the Irish flag.
Base your menu around dishes familiar to a country or culture and
use your menu to explain the significance of each dish. If you dont
want to confine yourself to one country then think about arranging
a series of different buffet stations for your guests to sample food
from around the world. You could have your favourite Indian dishes
in one place, freshly baked pizzas and pasta for the Italian-lovers,
exotic sushi and perhaps a mini burger bar.
Choose a motif like the Welsh dragon or Hawaiian lei to adorn your
wedding stationery, have embroidered onto your dress and veil (like
the bees chosen by Sarah Ferguson for her marriage to Prince Andrew)
or incorporated in your headdress, you can decorate your wedding cake
with it and even use the same motif for the grooms tie, cravat
or waistcoat.
Here are some specific ideas from around the world to get you thinking.
I owe a big thanks for some of these ideas to the following forumites:
SarahC, Paula, Jo, Elaine, OJ, SarahL, Liz, Lynne, Minna, Kate, Nadine,
Mia, Deana and ClaireP. This is by no means a definitive list so please
keep those suggestions coming in!
African
- The most common tradition is jumping the broom,
a ritual originating from the Deep South during the American Civil
War when slave weddings were not permitted and so an alternative
commitment ceremony had to be found. The broom is placed on the
floor and the couple jumps over it. But what does it signify?
Well, there seem to be various explanations ranging from a jump
from singledom into matrimony, following an African tribal marriage
ritual of placing sticks on the ground representing the couple's
new home or it could just be sweeping away the old and welcoming
the new. A nice touch is to fill a basket with ribbon pieces for
guests to tie around the broom before you begin
- In Ghana, an Asante male interested in a woman must knock
on the door so his mother and maternal uncle visit the girl's
family and propose marriage
- Cowrie shells are believed to encourage fertility and so include
them in a necklace or to trim your gowns and headpieces
- At the reception or outside the ceremony, pour a little wine
on the ground as a libation to the gods
American
- Have another party or two in the run-up to your wedding. American
brides enjoy a bridal shower where all her girlfriends
celebrate the forthcoming nuptials with themed presents, playing
silly games and eating! Possible themes include bubbles and baths
(anything that smells divine and can be used in the bathroom),
true romance (favourite poetry, massage oils, aphrodisiac foods,
in season (things appropriate to that particular season like beach
towels for summer, hot chocolate for autumn, glitter balls for
Christmas etc.) changing rooms (something for each room in the
house) and the kitchen (guests may give you their favourite recipes
or kitchen gadgets)
- Another popular party is the rehearsal dinner, usually held
by the grooms parents the night before the wedding to welcome
their new family and out-of-town guests. A good way for the wedding
party to get to know each other
- On the day, bridesmaids walk up the aisle in front of the bride
rather than behind
- Many mothers opt to wear a wrist corsage instead of one pinned
to their top or bag
- Add the garter toss to your tossing the bouquet ritual. This
is when the single men are lined up to catch the brides
garter. Yes, youve guessed it, the winner will be the next
to marry
Hawaiian
- The lei is the Hawaiian symbol of love. During the ceremony
the kahuna pule (religious man) binds the hands of the bride and
groom with leis as a symbol of the couple's commitment to each
other.
- Your groom should wear the fragrant maile lei entwined with
pikake (white jasmine) and ilima
- A local Japanese-American custom in Hawaii is for the bride
to fold 1001 origami cranes prior to her wedding for good luck,
good fortune, longevity, happiness fidelity and peace. The crane
is said to live for 1,000 years
Chinese
- Red is the traditional colour of luck and good fortune so many
Chinese brides wear a red dress
- If that is too daring, Beloved actress Thandi Newton had beautiful
red Chinese silk print dresses or cheongsams for her
bridesmaids who also wore little red thonged slippers and butterflies
in their hair
- Give your bridesmaids oriental fans or Chinese lanterns to carry
instead of flowers or use these as table centres
- Incorporate a red dragon motif in your wedding stationery or
as a cake topper, tie design or waistcoat for your groom
- Incorporate the traditional Chinese horoscope symbol for the
year of your wedding in your wedding stationery, table centres,
embroidered on your dress or veil or as a cake topping. This works
better in a glamorous Year of the Dragon than in a not-so-salubrious
Year of the Rat!
- Find out the Chinese symbols for your names and incorporate
them in your stationery or as decoration on your cake
- Use traditional jade in your jewellery or gifts to attendants
- Choose a Chinese pagoda shape cake with lotus flowers to decorate
- Hark back to your childhood party goody bags and give paper
magic fish as favours or put a message of thanks into a 'red pocket'
used at Chinese New Year
- Serve fortune cookies (easy to bake yourselves) filled with
good wishes
- At a Chinese wedding banquet, eight dishes are usually served
(not including dessert) because the word eight in
Chinese sounds like good luck.
- Waiters usually pass out take-out boxes to the guests because
providing too much food represents abundance
- Tea is served at the reception as a sign of respect. The couple
usually serves it to each relative who give jewellery and "lucky
money" in return
- Fireworks and a lion dance are two Chinese traditions performed
at weddings to ward off evil spirits and bring good luck
- Check a Chinese almanac for auspicious dates for
your wedding day
- Serve food that represent the joining of man and woman in marriage
and include an explanation of your choices on the menu. In a Chinese
marriage the dragon represents the male, whilst the phoenix is
female. A wedding banquet could start with appetizers such as
dragon-phoenix (or cold food) plates with various
sliced meats, jellyfish or nuts shaped like dragons and phoenixes
and served chilled. Lobster in Chinese is literally dragon
shrimp and in Chinese restaurants, chicken feet are referred
to as phoenix feet
- Fish sounds like plentiful in Chinese
so serving fish gives hope for the bridal couple to experience
a life of abundance
- Noodles represent longevity in a marriage because they come
in long strands!
- At dawn on her wedding day (or the night before), a Chinese
bride was bathed in water infused with pumelo, a variety of grapefruit,
to cleanse her of evil influences
- In olden times the groom would have dinner with the brides
family prior to the wedding. He received a pair of chopsticks
and two wine goblets wrapped in red paper, symbolic of his receiving
the joy of the family in the shape of their daughter
- Sieves are symbolic because they will strain out evil. The best
way we can think of including it is by tying it to the back of
the wedding car along with the horseshoes and tin cans!
- Give each guest a 'name in Chinese' as a place card. These are
a translation of a Western name with the meaning of the Chinese
characters, and read something like, your name XXX has 2
characters, XX which means joy and XX which means beauty
- Use rice instead of confetti
- Eat with chopsticks
- Use a red and gold gong to announce dinner
- Chinese Brides have to pour a cup of tea for their would-be-in-laws.
If they spill any tea the marriage is off.
French
- Everything is white, from dresses to decorations so this is
the perfect theme for understated elegance
- The couple drinks from a coup de mariage wedding
cup to represent their unity
- Instead of decorating the bridal suite, French guests
perform a little chiverie, which is interrupting the
wedding night by clanging pots. The groom is supposed to ask the
merrymakers in for refreshments but it is up to you!
- Sell sections of your veil or auction your garter at the reception
- It is traditional to sell kisses with the bride, but this could
be dangerous!
- Have a croquembouche wedding cake or choose a design in the
shape of the Eiffel Tower
- If the timing is right then serve Beaujolais Nouveau to represent
the new life you are starting together
- Pick a French-based menu.
German
- Ask your guests to perform sketches or get other guests to join
in games at the reception
- At village weddings it's common for the guests to congregate
at the bride's parents' house and walk in pairs with them to the
church. Any children and single couples are in the front, followed
by the bride and groom and finally all the married couples
- A week or so before the wedding, a joint hen/stag night is usually
held called a 'polterabend'. All the couples friends are
invited and bring bits of crockery or porcelain to smash on the
ground to bring good luck by driving away evil spirits (hence
poltergeist)
- Place banknotes in flower arrangements
- Ask guests to lay fir boughs in front of you as you leave the
ceremony, to pave your way with hope, luck, and fertility
- During the ceremony, when the couple kneel, the groom may kneel
on the bride's hem to show that he'll keep her in line. The bride
may step on his foot when she rises, to reassert herself
Greek
- Give your attendants a traditional charm in the form of a small
eye that protects the wedding celebrants from bad luck
- Ask your groom to present you with your bouquet at the wedding
venue
- To be sure of a sweet life, carry a lump of sugar in your glove
on your wedding day
- At an Orthodox ceremony a priest will crown you and then lead
you both three times around in a circle, representing eternity.
You are considered married after the third circle. Three
represents the Holy Trinity, hence the crowns are swapped between
your heads three times and your rings are swapped over three times
- In a similar tradition to the Italians, Greek bridesmaids may
wrap almonds (a symbol of fertility) in small packages and present
them to guests
- End the ceremony with honey and walnuts offered to you both
on a silver spoon. Walnuts break into four parts representing
the bride, groom and the two sets of family
- Use ivy in your bouquet to mimic Ancient Greek brides who saw
this as a symbol of eternal love
- If you opt for any Greek tradition it is likely to be the money
dance. Instead of giving gifts, your guests will pin several notes
to your outfits during this almost never-ending dance!
- Ask your parents to arrange for musicians to play traditional
songs as you and your groom are getting ready in your respective
houses. This can often include dancing and drinking to start the
festivities
- Whilst the groom is being serenaded he traditionally has a ceremonial
wet shave in front of his family and well-wishers
- Apples and pomegranates are symbols of fertility so include
them in your menu, bouquet or table centres
- There is a Greek pre-wedding tradition that is perfect for those
wanting to start a family quickly. Babies are gently rolled on
the matrimonial bed to bring fertility and happiness to the new
marriage
- During the reception have a traditional plate smashing celebration.
Broken plates symbolize good luck and happiness and the permanence
of marriage
Hispanic
- In Spain the bride's parents are the equivalent of the best
man and matron of honour
- Spanish grooms traditionally wear a tucked shirt that has been
embroidered by the bride, so get stitching!
- Ask your groom to give thirteen coins to you before the ceremony
as, in Spain, this symbolizes his ability to support and care
for you. Carry them in a little purse or ask your bridesmaids
to look after them
- It is a tradition for Spanish brides to carry scented orange
blossoms in their bouquet
- In Mexican ceremonies, a rosary tied into a lasso
shape is wound around your shoulders and hands to symbolically
tie you together
- Also in Mexico, a "lasso" of a very large rosary is
wound around the couple's shoulders and hands during the ceremony
to show the union and protection of marriage
- At a Puerto Rican wedding, a doll dressed like the bride is
covered with capias or mementos including pins with
the couple's name and wedding date. The bride and groom then distribute
the pins to guests as favours.
Irish
- Wear a claddagh wedding ring, which has two hands holding a
heart with a crown. When the ring is turned so the hands face
in, the bride is married
- In ancient Ireland it was customary for the man to give the
woman he wanted to marry a bracelet woven of human hair. Her acceptance
of it was symbolic of accepting the man, linking her to him for
life
- In parts of Mayo and Leitrim a strange wedding dance survives
with a straw mask or sometimes a straw petticoat. A band of nine
"strawboys," as they are called, visits the bride's
home on the wedding eve, and one dances with the bride and the
rest with the other girls present
- Use the shamrock in your floral displays and as a motif for
your stationery or even to decorate the edges of your wedding
cake
- Serve Guinness or Murphys for the toasts or place jugs
of them on each table
- Incorporate The Irish Wedding Song:
"Here they stand hand in hand,
Theyve exchanged wedding bands,
Today is the day of their dreams and their plans,
And all we who love them just wanted to say,
May God bless this couple who married today,
In good times and bad times in sickness and health,
May they know that riches are not needed for wealth,
And help them face problems they'll meet on their way,
Oh God bless this couple who married today,
May they find peace of mind comes to all who are kind,
May the rough times ahead become triumphs in time,
May their children be happy each day,
Oh God bless this family who started today,
As they go may they know every love that was shown,
And as life it gets shorter may their feelings grow,
Wherever they travel wherever they stay,
May God bless this couple who married today."
Italian
- In a few regions the couple shattered a vase or glass into many
pieces. The number of pieces represented the expected number of
years they'll be happily married to one another
- Release a pair of white doves à la Posh and Beckham to
symbolize your love and happiness
- Auction off pieces of the grooms tie
- Instead of gifts, guests will give envelopes of money
- Serve symbolic foods for good luck including twists of fried
dough, powdered with sugar, called bow ties or wanda
- If you are feeling very brave then ask your guests to toss sugarcoated
almonds (the original confetti) tied in mesh bags
at you both to ward against childlessness
- Give five bombonniere or sugared almond favours
to each guest for good luck
- Learn how to dance the energetic tarantella as your first dance.
In Italy this takes place as a traditional wedding circle dance
Japanese
- Wear a red and white kimono for luck. Japanese brides wear one
or more colourful costumes during the day so it is a good excuse
to change outfits!
- Incorporate cherry blossom, lotus blossom or jasmine in your
flowers
- Use the ancient art of origami to create unusual invitations
and place cards
- Have a dragon dance at your wedding
- Design a willow pattern wedding cake in blue and purple and
lilac complete with bridge and lovers
- A Shinto-style ceremony is very traditional and incorporates
the best of ancient Japanese traditions. The wedding includes
only the immediate families, the nakoudo (matchmakers) and the
priest. The bride wears a white kimono with an elaborate headdress
while the groom wears a black kimono and jacket with a striped
hakama (skirt-like pants)
- Serve wagashi (Japanese cakes) shaped into the following lucky
symbols: The crane (fidelity), tortoise (long-life of the marriage)
or plum blossoms (perseverance and early success). Each symbol
has a special meaning
- At "Yui-no" gifts are exchanged between the bridegroom-to-be
and bride-to-be. The main present for the bride-to-be is an Obi,
representing female virtue whilst a hakama skirt for
the bridegroom-to-be expresses fidelity
- As with Chinese weddings, ask your bridesmaids to carry fans
instead of flowers or incorporate them in your table decorations
or as favours. A fan is a symbol of happiness because it expands
to the end thus suggesting a better and bigger future
- Three different sizes of sake cups are exchanged nine times
between a bride and groom during the ceremony before the two families
join in to celebrate their union
- Use lucky red and white colours in your décor and menu
- Guests are expected to give money as gifts
- A great tradition to include for your reception is the guests'
performances. Ask them to perform any dramas, skits or sing to
you. But remember that forewarned is forearmed!
The
Philippines
- Brides wear traditional white attire but ask your groom to wear
a barong, which is a transparent button-up shirt
- Ask special friends or relatives to be your wedding sponsors
by witnessing your wedding. Sponsors symbolize guidance and support
at any time during the marriage
- Ask two of these to be your veil sponsors. During
a specific point in the ceremony, the veil sponsors carefully
pin a large veil on top of the bride's head and onto the shoulder
of the groom. The veil symbolizes unity and that the couple shall
be clothed as one
- Another set of sponsors are cord sponsors. After
the veil is placed on both the bride and groom, they place a white
cord loosely around the necks of the couple in a figure of eight
to symbolize the bond between you
- At the ceremony, have a unity candle with a long stemmed candle
either side for both sets of parents to light. These flames are
used to light you unity to symbolizes the union of the two families
- In the ceremony, cup your hands under the groom's cupped hands
so that the priest can dribble thirteen silver coins into the
groom's open palms, trickling like a water falls into the brides
hands, and from her palms into a plate held underneath by an acolyte.
This represents a sign of fidelity and completes the marriage
contract
- Enjoy the money dance (Pandango), which is similar to the Greek
celebration
Polish
- As the bride, wear a wreath made from rosemary leaves to signify
remembrance
- The couple's parents present them with salt and bread as symbols
of bitterness and prosperity
- Learn a traditional polka or mazurka as your first dance or
invite a professional caller to teach your guests
at the reception
- The sharing of the bread, salt and wine is an old Polish tradition
so ask your parents to greet you with lightly salted bread and
a goblet of wine. The bread symbolizes the parents' wish that
their children will never be hungry, salt represents the difficulties
of life and the wine expresses a wish for good health, good cheer
and many friends.
Luck comes to the bride who drinks a glass of wine at the celebration
without spilling a drop so watch that steady hand!
- Add the unveiling ritual to your reception: Everyone
forms a circle around the bride. Her mother takes the bride's
veil off (symbolizing the bride's becoming a woman) and places
it on the head of the maid of honour who then dances with the
best man for a few minutes before passing the veil to the next
bridesmaid.
- Include the money dance in your reception. This is a variation
on the Greek dance and is either a form of gift giving with guests
pinning money on the veil, or it is a way for guests to buy a
dance with the bride
Scandinavian
- Wear a jewelled crown as a symbol of bridal innocence
- As you receive your final blessings, ask your attendants to
hold care cloths over you to protect from evil
- Toast the wedding with a specially brewed beer
- Try a Swedish wedding cake, which is sponge with toffee-coloured
icing
- Help your guests to mingle by partnering each male guest a female
guest to look after for the evening
- Place a silver coin from your father in your left shoe and a
gold coin from your mother in your right shoe and Swedish tradition
says you will never go without
- The traditional Danish wedding cake is a marzipan ring cake,
made of almond cake and marzipan and beautifully decorated with
sugar work. It is filled with candies, almond cakes or perhaps
fresh fruit and sorbet
- Use a string of Danish flags on your wedding car instead of
ribbons - apparently the Danes are obsessed with their flag!
- There's also a lovely Danish tradition if the bride or groom
has deceased parents, because the bride's bouquet is placed on
the grave. It's not unusual to see wedding parties in a cemetery.
Gone but Not Forgotten.
Scottish
- Wash your feet the night before the wedding! On the eve of a
traditional Scottish Penny wedding, a ceremonial "feet washing"
was held where everyone crowded around to help wash her feet.
A married woman's ring was placed into the tub before the ceremony
and the first person to find it was believed to be the one who
would get married next
- Give the first person you see on your way to the wedding a coin
and a drink of whisky. That person, called the first foot,
has to join the bridal procession
- Hire a ceilidh band for a Highland dancing reception or include
traditional waltzes or country-dances like the Gay Gordon
- Before you enter your new home, an oatcake or bannocks
(a biscuit made of barley and oat flour) must be broken above
your head and pieces of the cake were passed around to everyone
before you are carried over the threshold
- Just after you have exchanged vows, the groom can drape a shawl
or sash in his clan's tartan over your shoulders
- Employ a piper to herald your exit from the ceremony or entrance
to the reception
- Use thistles or tartan motifs for your wedding stationery, cake
and decorations. Or, for the tongue-in-cheek, a Loch Ness Monster
theme!
- Use poems from Robert Burns or your favourite Scottish writings
in your ceremony
- Serve salmon or even haggis!
- Hire a bagpipe musician to play your procession and recession
Welsh
- In the past, Welsh men often spent lots of time at sea where
they would carve a "love spoon" from a single piece
of wood in their spare time. Each spoon had different images carved
to represent promises of love, wealth, devotion or security, for
example. When he returned home he would present this love spoon
to the woman he wanted to marry
- Red dragons, leeks and daffodils are the most obvious symbols
of Wales that are easy to incorporate in your wedding day. Use
them to decorate or illustrate your wedding stationery and order
of service, as cake toppers or tucked into your bouquets and floral
decorations
- Baby leeks and baby daffodils make great buttonholes
- Why not give your H2B a dragon-motif tie or waistcoat to wear
on the day?
- Sign the register to Calon Lan
- Use Welsh names to identify each table. Elaine is opting for
a top table called Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch,
of course!
- Anything by Tom Jones makes a fun first dance
Jewish
- At the end of the ceremony, your groom will stamp on a glass.
This is to remind you of the destruction of the Temple and the
fact that with happiness must come responsibility to cope with
the harder times to cope
- Dance the traditional hora celebration dance at
the celebration
- Fast from first light until the ceremony under the chuppah on
your wedding day (unless it is Rosh Chodesh, or the new moon).
This will act like a personal Yom Kippur where you are forgiven
your sins and can start married life without spiritual baggage
- Break the evening celebrations for tea, coffee and cake rather
than serving them straight after the meal
- Wear a plain metal wedding band without any stones or engraving
and neither of you should wear adornments under the chuppah. This
is to show that you are not marrying for money or material gain
Other
Asian Traditions
- If you can, include some ducks in your wedding procession because
they are considered lucky in Korea as they mate for life
- Add the Korean tradition of catching coins in the bride's skirt
for good fortune. Just be careful how high you lift the skirt!
- Instead of other favours, give each guest a beautifully decorated
hard-boiled egg, a symbol of fertility in Malaysia
- If you want two wedding celebrations then adopt a Vietnamese
tradition where one party is given by the bride's family and the
other by the groom's
Other
European Traditions
- After the couple are crowned in a Russian Orthodox ceremony,
they race to stand on a white rug because it is said that whoever
steps on it first will be the master of the household. A good
incentive to get fit for the big day!
- Ukrainian couples share sacred wedding bread that is decorated
with symbols that represent the union of two families and eternal
love. This korovai replaces wedding cake
- A pine tree, which symbolizes luck and fertility, is planted
at a Swiss couple's new home
- Ask your guests to participate in the traditional Hungarian
wedding procession, either by marching to the bride's home or
escorting you to the groom's house or the venue
- If you are a Hungarian bride, then give your groom either three
or seven handkerchiefs for luck and he should give you a bag of
coins in return
- Guests dance with the Hungarian bride at the reception, and
give small coins in exchange for a kiss.
For more information about wedding traditions see our Traditions
article or, if you know of any wedding traditions that aren't listed
above, please e-mail them to me at Kate@WeddingGuideUK.com
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