It is important – and often great fun – to involve
your children in the wedding plans. So, where do you begin?
Pre-wedding arrangements
- Ask
for their opinion and advice on just about everything
no matter what age they are, even a young child will
have an opinion.
- Include
them in the choice of outfits, shopping trips, choosing
the hairdresser and so on.
- If
you have older children, why not let them arrange your
hen/stag night?
- Give
them a job to help you out. Younger kids could help
fill invites into envelopes, draw pictures for your
menus or table plan, bake cookies or make sweets they can hand out to your guests as favours.
- Older
kids could drive around to collect hire outfits, flowers,
search the internet for information or maps, call guests
to chase replies or even make the orders of service.
On
the day
- Ask
them to cook a special breakfast for everyone at home
that morning.
- Have
the younger children as bridesmaids/flower girls/page
boys or even ring bearers.
- Older
children can be your witnesses, best man, chief bridesmaid
or ushers.
- Have
a child escort you into the ceremony and maybe even
give you away.
- Ask
a child to do a reading at the ceremony or a poem that
is family-related.
After
the ceremony
- Ask
older children to head a table at the reception or act
as Master of Ceremonies.
- The
speeches are always a good opportunity to include your
children and it really doesn’t matter what age
they are, if they feel that they have something important
to say then let them say it.
- Give
younger children responsibilities, such as handing out
wedding
cameras, blowing bubbles, throwing flower
petal confetti or distributing favours.
- After
the first dance with your new spouse, have a parent
and child dance to make them feel special.
It would be a wonderful guesture to include you children
in your wedding vows. Here is one suggestion that would
be suitable for civil ceremonies (in addition to the statutory
vows required to legalise your marriage) and also for
humanist ceremonies:
| Groom |
“Today
[bride’s name] I ask you to be my wife.
To be loving, tolerant and loyal, supporting me
in my life. I ask that you vow to do your best for
our relationship, and our lives together. Will you
promise this?” |
| Bride |
“I
will. And I ask you [groom’s name],
to be my husband. To be devoted and faithful, loving
and supporting me and working for the good of our
relationship. Will you promise this?” |
| Groom |
“I
will.” |
| Celebrant |
“As
[groom’s name] and [bride's name]
come together as husband and wife, they create a
new family. The children of [groom’s name]
and [bride's name] are now going to ask for
a promise from their parents.” |
Child
(see
note below) |
“Will
you accept us as part of your family together? Will
you love and care for us, guide us and support us?” |
| Bride
and groom together |
“We
will” |
| Celebrant |
“Today
[bride, groom and children's names] have
made a new family, and together they promise to
consider each other, to be loving, respectful and
devoted to each other. We ask those present to help
them. Will you promise this?” |
Respondants
(see note below) |
“We
will.” |
Respondants
note
Since it is not normal procedure for guests to be asked
for a response during a civil ceremony, we suggest you
explain their role to them before the service or in your
Order of Service. Alternatively, nominate close family
or friends to make the response on behalf of your guests:
Child
note
The words said by the child could be split to include
up to three children, for example:
| Child
1 |
“Will
you accept us as part of your family together?" |
| Child
2 |
“Will
you love and care for us?” |
| Child
3 |
“Will
you guide us and support us?” |
|
