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| Thank
You Letters |
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Your
guests may have spent a considerable amount of time and money
choosing a wedding gift for you. It is good manners therefore,
to send each contributor a letter thanking them for their kindness
and thoughtfulness.
Unfortunately,
letter writing is a dying art and many people have had little
practice at thanking people for gifts by letter. In fact, most
see it as a chore to be endured in childhood at the end of birthday
and Christmas celebrations. This need not be the case. Thanking
your guests for their presents is a task that can be shared by
you both, either before or after the wedding, and is a great
way to keep in contact with the special people who will share,
or have shared your special day.
The question most often asked about thank you letters is
"Should we send thank you letters upon receipt of our
gifts or wait until after our honeymoon?"
The
answer is to write your thank you letters as soon as you receive
your gifts (or when you have been notified by the store you are
using for your wedding list that a gift has been purchased for
you). By writing immediately upon receipt, the safe arrival of
the gift is acknowledged and the gift can be checked for any
damage it may have sustained in transit. It also means that you
write a few letters a week rather than having the full task to
come back to at the end of your honeymoon.
Thank
you letters for gifts that arrive very close to your wedding
day, or on the day itself, should be written as soon as you return
from your honeymoon. These letters can take a different form
as you will be able to reminisce about the wonderful day you
both enjoyed. People unable to attend your wedding may also purchase
gifts. A letter written after your wedding will give you the
opportunity to tell them how everything went, as well as possibly
including a wedding photograph.
Your thank you letters should always be hand written. Traditionally,
thank you letters are written by the bride but, there is
no reason why the task could not be shared. After all, your
gift for both of you. Your letter should be personal and
not of the 'round robin' variety. Therefore, it should mention
the gift that was received and the place it will take in
your married life. This task will be made a great deal simpler
if you have a record of who gave what. This is made easy
if most of your gifts came via a store wedding list service,
as most stores record the giver's names on their printout.
If money was received, do not mention the amount, but say
what use you will be putting the money to. The giver will
derive great comfort in knowing that their money has been
put to good use in your home.
If
you do not have thank you stationery that co-ordinates with your
invitations etc, invest in some quality heavy-weight writing
paper or cards. This need not be a costly exercise. Many stationers
and supermarkets stock ranges of quality writing materials, some
with a wedding theme. Alternatively, you could produce your stationery
on your PC, using word processing software, but do check the
maximum weight of paper that your printer will accept before
you buy the paper. If you produce your own stationery, do not
be tempted to print the message!
 When
writing your letters, try not to be too formal. Formality
has a place in the wedding preparations and celebrations,
but you should thank your guests in writing as you would
speak to them. For thank you letters written after your
wedding you may also like to include an anecdote from the
day,perhaps a comment you heard from one of the guests or
a funny story about something you saw. Tell the recipient
a little about your honeymoon. Enlivening your letter will
prevent it from being a plain thank you.
Also,
try writing just from yourself rather than from "us".
This gives the opportunity to speak directly to the person you
are writing to, rather than your recipient feeling that they
are reading a mass-produced letter. Here are some suggestions
to get you started:
Thank
you letter from the bride
to guests who attended the wedding:
Dear Kate and Ben,
Thank you for the beautiful cushions. They look perfect with
our new sofa and really add a splash of colour.
It
was so lovely to see you both at our wedding and I hope you enjoyed
yourselves. Our honeymoon in Florida was utterly fantastic. We
enjoyed great weather and lots of huge meals. John sends his
love, and says that we'll have to get together for a curry once
he's settled into married life!
Look
forward to seeing you both soon.
Beth
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Thank
you letter from the groom
to guests who attended the wedding:
Dear Ken and Sheila,
Dropping
you a quick note to thank you for our wedding present. People
laughed at us for wanting such mundane things as a salad bowl,
but thanks for persevering! It is just what we wanted, as it
goes with the set that Beth's parents bought her for her birthday
last year. All we need now is the weather to suit a salad!
Hope
everything is OK with you, it was great to see you at the wedding,
and Beth and I are looking forward to seeing you at Christmas
as usual.
All
the best,
John
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Thank
you letter for a gift
received before the wedding:
Dear
Phil, Steph and Sophie,
Just
dropping you a quick line to thank you for the wonderful set
of gardening tools. We were so thrilled when we heard from the
department store. John has now promised to tackle the garden
as soon as we return from our honeymoon!
We
look forward to seeing you both on the 12th. Fingers crossed
for good weather!
Love,
Beth
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Thank
you letter to guests who gave money:
Dear
Michelle and David,
Just
a note to thank you for your generous wedding gift. It has been
duly deposited in our savings account, which is earmarked for
our dining room suite.
John and I have now chosen the colour scheme for the room, so
the pleasure of choosing our furniture is not
far away. Funny how quickly you get used to eating
from a tray in the lounge - the cats love it!
You
must come round once we are totally decorated and organised.
Love,
Beth
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Thank
you letter to guests who were
unable to attend the wedding but sent a gift:
Dear Alan and Claire,
Thank you for the beautiful set of glasses. We received them
in perfect condition and just in time to toast
ourselves before setting off on our honeymoon.
We were so sorry that you weren't able to share our day, and
hope that the enclosed photo gives you a feel
of the happy atmosphere we enjoyed. Dad says to
let you know that his speech was fine, after the
long-distance advice you offered him. He says
the cheque's in the post!
We missed you both, and look forward to seeing you next time
you venture down south.
Take care,
Beth
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Gifts are sometimes received from a group of people that have clubbed
together. There are a number of ways to thank people for
these gifts. If the gift has come from a large number
of people, it is probably simpler to write one letter
to the group, which can be passed round the group, or
displayed on the office notice board. If the gift is received
from a smaller number of people, or from a group who are
not connected in any other way apart from friendship,
a letter to each individual would be more appropriate.
Here are two examples for ideas:
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Thank
you letter for a gift received from a group of people linked
together:
Dear
All,
I
just wanted to drop you all a note to say thank you for the beautiful
cutlery set. We have started to use it now John has found time
to clear out the kitchen draws. It's amazing how much stuff we've
accumulated!
It was lovely to see so many of you at our wedding, and I hope
you all enjoyed yourselves. I've certainly never
seen Sarah and Karen hit the dance floor with
such enthusiasm before! Thank you all again for such a fabulous present. Beth
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Thank you letter for a gift received from
a small group of people:
(This letter is to one of
the group, although each should receive a slightly
different one, tailored to the individual)
Dear Caroline,
Thank you so much for the cafétière and matching
mugs you bought us. I am in awe that you managed
to organise Tony and Gary into even thinking about
the wedding before the day itself, and even more
surprised that you managed to weed any money out
of them! We must all get together once Beth and I are organised, as it
feels like ages since the whole gang were together. Speak to you soon,
John
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| Don't let the writing of your thank you letters become a
chore. Try writing a few letters each evening, or during
your lunch break. Take time to think about the faces of
the people you are writing to and the gift they gave - even
if it wasn't quite perfect or what you wanted! |
If
you still have any unanswered questions about writing thank you
letters,
please post your question on our Wedding
Forum.
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