There
seems to be two explanations for this tradition where the
groom carries his bride over the threshold when entering their
home as a married couple for the first time. The first is
to protect the bride from evil spirits that were thought to
be lying in wait under the threshold. The second explanation
relates to Roman times when it was believed that if the bride
stumbled when entering the newlywed's home for the first time,
it would bring bad luck and harm to their marriage. So carrying
the bride across the threshold would prevent this from happening
(although we haven't established the likely outcome to the
marriage if the groom stumbled while carrying the bride!).
At
the evening celebrations, the bride and groom traditionally
dance first on their own to a waltz. However, as ballroom dancing
is not so popular these days, the newlyweds usually dance to
a favourite romantic song. During the playing of this song,
it is traditional for the groom to dance with his new mother-in-law
and then with his mother, while the bride dances with her new
father-in-law and then with her father. The best man also joins
in dancing with the chief bridesmaid and the ushers with the
other bridesmaids when the bride and groom first change. After
the first dance, all the guests are invited to join the newlyweds
on the dance floor. Please read our related article Music
For Your Wedding
The tradition of giving your guests something
to remember the day by in the form of favours
has been around for hundreds of years. Today, the tradition
has evolved to giving each guest five sugar
coated almonds to symbolise health, wealth, fertility, happiness
and long-life. However, during the late 19th century at high
society weddings, guests could expect to receive favours such
as scarves, garters and gloves. Looking back further, an article
in the Caldwell Papers (Scotland) dated 1750, reports:
| "The
bride's favours are sewn on her gown from top to bottom,
and round the neck and sleeves. The moment the wedding
ceremony was performed the whole company ran to her
and pulled off the favours; in an instant she was stripped
of all of them. The bride's mother then came in with
a basket of favours belonging to the bridegroom; those
and the bride's were the same, with the livery's of
their families, hers pink and white, his gold and blue
colour." |
But
why almonds? It appears that the association of almonds with
love goes back to Greek legend with the story of a young man
called Demophon, who met and fell in love with a Tracian princess,
Phyllis. However, before the marriage ceremony could take
place Demophon is informed that his father has died in Athens
and he must return for the funeral. He promises to return
by a certain date but errs on the time it will take him and
does not return until three months later. By this time Phyllis
is convinced that she will never see her lover again and hanged
herself. The Gods, touched by her love, transform her into
an almond tree. The grief stricken Demophon offered a sacrifice
to the almond tree, declaring his undying love. In response,
the almond tree blossomed. Impetuous youth and undying love
were thus symbolised by the almond. Also, in his writings
on natural history in 77AD, Pliny advised that eating five
almonds would prevent drunkenness, therefore maybe the giving
of the five almonds to wedding guests was to ensure that celebrations
did not get out of hand.
According
to Welsh custom an admirer indicated his desire to woo a girl
by carving her a wooden love spoon, from which the words spooning
originated, meaning to act amorously, and spooned which means
a sentimental lover. Designs could be elaborate and were full
of symbolism with various shapes having different meanings:
| Heart |
I love you. |
| Key |
You hold the key to my heart. |
| Wheel |
I plan to work hard for you. |
| Bell |
Let's get married. |
| Links or beads |
The number utilised in the
spoon indicates the desired number of children. |
Other
Welsh customs include the bride removing a pin from her dress
and throwing it over her shoulder as insurance for a happy marriage
and another calls for the relatives of the bride to kidnap her
on her arrival at church. The groom and his relatives then give
chase with the end result being that whoever catches the bride
will wed within the year.
The wedding cake has
a rich symbolic history of its own that is relatively forgotten
today. The ancient Greeks threw cakes at the newly married couple,
just as we throw confetti today. In Roman times, at the marriages
of the upper classes, cakes made of flour, salt and water would
firstly be shared by the bride and groom, which was thought
to promise the couple a life of plenty, in both children and
happiness. The remainder was then broken over the bride's head.
The guests, believing they would share in the blessing it symbolised,
would rush forward to procure a morsel for themselves. Furthermore,
it was only the children born to a marriage sanctified in this
way that qualified for the high sacred offices in Roman life,
hence, not only did the cake provide the couple with future
fertility, but also it promised their yet unconceived children
with a propitious future.
A huge basket of dried biscuits was provided at the wedding
ceremonies of the early Anglo Saxons where the guests would
take one each and the remainder was shared amongst the poor.
However, in later times the wedding guests would bring their
own cakes, often spiced buns, which were piled into a huge mound.
It was deemed to be good fortune if the bride and groom were
able to kiss each other over the mountain of cakes, promising
them life-long happiness and good fortune. Legend suggests that
at about the time of King Charles II (1630-1685) a French chef,
observing the tedious way that all the small cakes were piled
on top of each other suggested icing the mound into one mass,
out of which grew the traditional French celebration cake called
the croquembouche.
The many tiered, elaborately iced, traditional wedding
cakes of today are based on the unusual shape of the spire
of St Bride's church in London.
In Victorian times, the tradition of breaking the cake over
the bride's head was believed to promote fertility and unmarried
girls would pass a piece of the cake through the bride's wedding
ring and place it under their pillow believing that they would
dream of their future husband. In more recent times the cutting
of the cake, once the sole responsibility of the bride, was
symbolic of the bride's pending loss of virginity, and even
now the wedding cake is often still regarded as a symbol of
fertility, and its distribution among the guests is symbolic
of the sharing of happiness - sharing is regarded as an important
feature of all religions, hence the tradition of sending a piece
of cake to those unable to attend the ceremony.
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