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Speeches
 
 
 

Planning your Speech

  • Decide whether you want to write out the speech in full and read it word for word, memorise it completely (risky) or compile a list of bullet points to prompt you.
  • Start by noting suitable headings to focus on then fill in the spaces to produce an entire speech.
  • All wedding speeches are just extended toasts so don't worry about having to compose something worthy of an Oscar winner.
  • Don't just speak to your side of the family, or just the friends of the bride and groom
  • Remember that your speech needs to be relevant to everyone present, some of whom may not know the bride and groom very well
  • Keep your speech quite brief, around five to six minutes is a good average.
  • Remember that you are writing your speech to be read aloud. The spoken word is different to the written word - a formal document may contain "cannot" or "do not" but the spoken form would be "can't" and "don't".
A Little Humour
  • If you are a naturally funny person then you are more likely to incorporate jokes into your speech without too much difficulty, if not then you may feel better with a humorous anecdote or two.
  • The type of joke you use depends on the style of speech you intend to make. There is no point launching into a stream of jokes in the middle of an otherwise sentimental speech.
  • Don't offend or ridicule anyone.
  • An anecdote is a more flexible way of introducing humour into your speech and does not need to be harmful to be funny. It also has the effect of bringing your audience together in a shared experience.
  • However, do not use anecdotes referring to the bride or groom's previous marriages or relationships.
Making Speech Notes
  • Write down the key words of sentences, remembering to include important dates or names. It is amazing how easily you will forget a person's name if under stress!
  • If you prefer to write out the speech in full remember that you will be speaking it aloud, so make it obvious where pauses and even gestures should go to allow for impact or reaction.
  • Whichever method you choose, write your speech out clearly, or type it with space between each line, so it is easy to read.
  • Write each paragraph out in a different coloured pen, or highlight each section of type with a different coloured fluorescent marker. Apparently, if you lose your place your eyes will automatically go to the colour that it was last reading from. Try it and see if it works for you!
  • Whether you type or write your speech always make a copy, with the same colours and marks on it. You can give this copy to someone else to look after, just in case in your nervousness, you leave yours on the bedside cabinet.
Practice, Practice, Practice!
  • Practice your speech by reading it aloud over and over again!
  • Start by reading it aloud to yourself and then in front of a mirror to get an idea of how you will look and sound to the guests.
  • Finally deliver your speech to a trusted friend, who can advise you how it comes across.
  • Always stand while you rehearse, remembering to practice looking at the people you are referring to and your audience. This will help you get used to performing your speech rather than just reading it.
  • Once you feel relaxed with the content of your speech you will feel more confident at the prospect of performing it to a group of people.
  • Remember to smile occasionally and speak slower than you would in normal conversation, to allow your voice to travel. At the rehearsal stage, the speed of delivery may make you sound like you have had a few too many drinks already, but if you talk at your normal pace much of what you say can be lost.
  • Also plan for people to laugh at your jokes or murmur their approval at things you will say - don't speak over any noise, laughter, murmurs or even applause, as the next thing you say will be drowned. Prepare to pause for a while and enjoy your audiences' response to your performance. If they respond, they are enjoying themselves!
On the Big Day
  • Once you are well prepared, try not to let the speech overpower the day and stop you enjoying the occasion.
  • Avoid too much alcohol before your speech, as it may cloud your judgement. This is especially true if you find a drink or two slurs your speech (ask other people if drink affects you in his way, they may be more aware than you!)
  • Although you will have practised raising your voice to deliver your speech, if you are concerned that you may be too quiet, or the venue is massive, ask one of the ushers or a member of the venue staff to stand at the back of the room and indicate if they can't hear you.
  • When it is your turn to speak, don't stand until you are introduced. The guests are likely to applaud you, and this causes a good distraction for you to stand and clear your throat. Begin your speech by taking a deep breath, and smiling if at all possible!
  • Adrenaline will carry you to the end before you know it. If you make an error, smile, correct yourself and continue.
  • Remember to speak slowly, especially as nerves can tend to make you rush. If you feel yourself racing away, stop take a deep breath and then continue.
  • Above all, try to enjoy yourself and think of the meanings of the words you have written as you are speaking them, rather than just reading your speech aloud. This will ensure that you have conveyed to your audience the sentiment of your speech and your feelings for the people you are speaking about.
  • At the end of your speech you are likely to be proposing a toast. Invite your guests to stand to drink the toast, then sit as they sit, after the toast.
  • Having done all of this, relax and enjoy your applause, and the rest of the day!

 

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