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| Speeches |
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- Decide whether you want to write out the speech in full and
read it word for word, memorise it completely (risky) or compile
a list of bullet points to prompt you.
- Start by noting suitable headings to focus on then fill in the
spaces to produce an entire speech.
- All wedding speeches are just extended toasts so don't worry
about having to compose something worthy of an Oscar winner.
- Don't just speak to your side of the family, or just the friends
of the bride and groom
- Remember that your speech needs to be relevant to everyone present,
some of whom may not know the bride and groom very well
- Keep your speech quite brief, around five to six minutes is
a good average.
- Remember that you are writing your speech to be read aloud.
The spoken word is different to the written word - a formal document
may contain "cannot" or "do not" but the spoken
form would be "can't" and "don't".
- If you are a naturally funny person then you are more likely
to incorporate jokes into your speech without too much difficulty,
if not then you may feel better with a humorous anecdote or two.
- The type of joke you use depends on the style of speech you
intend to make. There is no point launching into a stream of jokes
in the middle of an otherwise sentimental speech.
- Don't offend or ridicule anyone.
- An anecdote is a more flexible way of introducing humour into
your speech and does not need to be harmful to be funny. It also
has the effect of bringing your audience together in a shared
experience.
- However, do not use anecdotes referring to the bride or groom's
previous marriages or relationships.
- Write down the key words of sentences, remembering to include
important dates or names. It is amazing how easily you will forget
a person's name if under stress!
- If you prefer to write out the speech in full remember that
you will be speaking it aloud, so make it obvious where pauses
and even gestures should go to allow for impact or reaction.
- Whichever method you choose, write your speech out clearly,
or type it with space between each line, so it is easy to read.
- Write each paragraph out in a different coloured pen, or highlight
each section of type with a different coloured fluorescent marker.
Apparently, if you lose your place your eyes will automatically
go to the colour that it was last reading from. Try it and see
if it works for you!
- Whether you type or write your speech always make a copy, with
the same colours and marks on it. You can give this copy to someone
else to look after, just in case in your nervousness, you leave
yours on the bedside cabinet.
- Practice your speech by reading it aloud over and over again!
- Start by reading it aloud to yourself and then in front of a
mirror to get an idea of how you will look and sound to the guests.
- Finally deliver your speech to a trusted friend, who can advise
you how it comes across.
- Always stand while you rehearse, remembering to practice looking
at the people you are referring to and your audience. This will
help you get used to performing your speech rather than just reading
it.
- Once you feel relaxed with the content of your speech you will
feel more confident at the prospect of performing it to a group
of people.
- Remember to smile occasionally and speak slower than you would
in normal conversation, to allow your voice to travel. At the
rehearsal stage, the speed of delivery may make you sound like
you have had a few too many drinks already, but if you talk at
your normal pace much of what you say can be lost.
- Also plan for people to laugh at your jokes or murmur their
approval at things you will say - don't speak over any noise,
laughter, murmurs or even applause, as the next thing you say
will be drowned. Prepare to pause for a while and enjoy your audiences'
response to your performance. If they respond, they are enjoying
themselves!
- Once you are well prepared, try not to let the speech overpower
the day and stop you enjoying the occasion.
- Avoid too much alcohol before your speech, as it may cloud your
judgement. This is especially true if you find a drink or two
slurs your speech (ask other people if drink affects you in his
way, they may be more aware than you!)
- Although you will have practised raising your voice to deliver
your speech, if you are concerned that you may be too quiet, or
the venue is massive, ask one of the ushers or a member of the
venue staff to stand at the back of the room and indicate if they
can't hear you.
- When it is your turn to speak, don't stand until you are introduced.
The guests are likely to applaud you, and this causes a good distraction
for you to stand and clear your throat. Begin your speech by taking
a deep breath, and smiling if at all possible!
- Adrenaline will carry you to the end before you know it. If
you make an error, smile, correct yourself and continue.
- Remember to speak slowly, especially as nerves can tend to make
you rush. If you feel yourself racing away, stop take a deep breath
and then continue.
- Above all, try to enjoy yourself and think of the meanings of
the words you have written as you are speaking them, rather than
just reading your speech aloud. This will ensure that you have
conveyed to your audience the sentiment of your speech and your
feelings for the people you are speaking about.
- At the end of your speech you are likely to be proposing a toast.
Invite your guests to stand to drink the toast, then sit as they
sit, after the toast.
- Having done all of this, relax and enjoy your applause, and
the rest of the day!
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