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| Speeches
- Where to Start |
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Browse Confetti's range of wedding books, available direct from confetti.co.uk.
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Speeches features a selection of useful tips on preparing and delivering
a memorable wedding speech. With sample speeches and advice
for the bride, bride's father, groom and best man
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How to write a wedding speech provides foundations for the father of the bride, groom, best man, bride and bridesmaids to create personalised speeches for their special occasions.
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Few people are practised in the art of public speaking so the thought
of getting up in front of a wedding reception and sounding good is
pretty intimidating. Don't panic, we have all the advice you need
to prepare for making your speech.
Traditionally, the toastmaster or master of ceremonies will introduce
the speeches at the end of the meal. The formal order of speakers
is:
But if the bride, chief
bridesmaid or guests want to speak then that's great, too!
Another good idea is to have the speeches BEFORE the dinner so that
everyone can enjoy their meals without nervously waiting to speak,
and you also limit the chance of too much alcohol being drunk by terrified
best men.
- Firstly, don't panic. A little careful planning will help you
deliver a speech to be proud of.
- If you can, visit the reception venue to get an idea of where
you will be standing and the size of the room.
- You will need to project your voice so practice speaking out
loud.
- How formal is the wedding? Are you expected to say a few words
and then propose a toast or speak for a long time?
- Is the reception going to have a theme that you could refer
to or even incorporate into your speech?
- Are you responsible for presenting gifts to members of the party?
- Find out a little about the guests and if there are any subjects
you should avoid.
- How many guests are there? As a general rule, the more people
present, the more formal the speech.
Here is a brief outline of who says what. For more details and for
sample speeches, check out the links to individual articles:
Father of the Bride or
Friend of the Family
- Thanks the guests for coming and sharing in the special day.
- Thanks everyone who contributed to the cost of the wedding.
- Compliments and praises his daughter and welcomes her new husband
into the family.
- Toasts the bride and groom.
Bridegroom
- Thanks the father of the bride for his toast.
- Thanks the guests for attending and for their gifts.
- Thanks both sets of parents.
- Compliments his bride.
- Thanks his best man.
- Thanks and toasts the bridesmaids.
Best Man
- Thanks the groom for his toast to the bridesmaids.
- Comments on the bride and particularly the groom.
- Reads any messages from absent friends.
- Toasts the bride and groom.
Bride
- Thanks the guests for coming.
- Thanks her parents and bridesmaids.
- Compliments the groom.
- Proposes a toast.
Chief Bridesmaid
- Thanks the bride
- Compliments the ushers
- Proposes a toast
- Decide whether you want to write out the speech in full and
read it word for word, memorise it completely (risky) or compile
a list of bullet points to prompt you.
- Start by noting suitable headings to focus on then fill in the
spaces to produce an entire speech.
- All wedding speeches are just extended toasts so don't worry
about having to compose something worthy of an Oscar winner.
- Don't just speak to your side of the family, or just the friends
of the bride and groom
- Remember that your speech needs to be relevant to everyone present,
some of whom may not know the bride and groom very well
- Keep your speech quite brief, around five to six minutes is
a good average.
- Remember that you are writing your speech to be read aloud.
The spoken word is different to the written word - a formal document
may contain "cannot" or "do not" but the spoken
form would be "can't" and "don't".
- If you are a naturally funny person then you are more likely
to incorporate jokes into your speech without too much difficulty,
if not then you may feel better with a humorous anecdote or two.
- The type of joke you use depends on the style of speech you
intend to make. There is no point launching into a stream of jokes
in the middle of an otherwise sentimental speech.
- Don't offend or ridicule anyone.
- An anecdote is a more flexible way of introducing humour into
your speech and does not need to be harmful to be funny. It also
has the effect of bringing your audience together in a shared
experience.
- However, do not use anecdotes referring to the bride or groom's
previous marriages or relationships.
- Write down the key words of sentences, remembering to include
important dates or names. It is amazing how easily you will forget
a person's name if under stress!
- If you prefer to write out the speech in full remember that
you will be speaking it aloud, so make it obvious where pauses
and even gestures should go to allow for impact or reaction.
- Whichever method you choose, write your speech out clearly,
or type it with space between each line, so it is easy to read.
- Write each paragraph out in a different coloured pen, or highlight
each section of type with a different coloured fluorescent marker.
Apparently, if you lose your place your eyes will automatically
go to the colour that it was last reading from. Try it and see
if it works for you!
- Whether you type or write your speech always make a copy, with
the same colours and marks on it. You can give this copy to someone
else to look after, just in case in your nervousness, you leave
yours on the bedside cabinet.
- Practice your speech by reading it aloud over and over again!
- Start by reading it aloud to yourself and then in front of a
mirror to get an idea of how you will look and sound to the guests.
- Finally deliver your speech to a trusted friend, who can advise
you how it comes across.
- Always stand while you rehearse, remembering to practice looking
at the people you are referring to and your audience. This will
help you get used to performing your speech rather than just reading
it.
- Once you feel relaxed with the content of your speech you will
feel more confident at the prospect of performing it to a group
of people.
- Remember to smile occasionally and speak slower than you would
in normal conversation, to allow your voice to travel. At the
rehearsal stage, the speed of delivery may make you sound like
you have had a few too many drinks already, but if you talk at
your normal pace much of what you say can be lost.
- Also plan for people to laugh at your jokes or murmur their
approval at things you will say - don't speak over any noise,
laughter, murmurs or even applause, as the next thing you say
will be drowned. Prepare to pause for a while and enjoy your audiences'
response to your performance. If they respond, they are enjoying
themselves!
- Once you are well prepared, try not to let the speech overpower
the day and stop you enjoying the occasion.
- Avoid too much alcohol before your speech, as it may cloud your
judgement. This is especially true if you find a drink or two
slurs your speech (ask other people if drink affects you in his
way, they may be more aware than you!)
- Although you will have practised raising your voice to deliver
your speech, if you are concerned that you may be too quiet, or
the venue is massive, ask one of the ushers or a member of the
venue staff to stand at the back of the room and indicate if they
can't hear you.
- When it is your turn to speak, don't stand until you are introduced.
The guests are likely to applaud you, and this causes a good distraction
for you to stand and clear your throat. Begin your speech by taking
a deep breath, and smiling if at all possible!
- Adrenaline will carry you to the end before you know it. If
you make an error, smile, correct yourself and continue.
- Remember to speak slowly, especially as nerves can tend to make
you rush. If you feel yourself racing away, stop take a deep breath
and then continue.
- Above all, try to enjoy yourself and think of the meanings of
the words you have written as you are speaking them, rather than
just reading your speech aloud. This will ensure that you have
conveyed to your audience the sentiment of your speech and your
feelings for the people you are speaking about.
- At the end of your speech you are likely to be proposing a toast.
Invite your guests to stand to drink the toast, then sit as they
sit, after the toast.
- Having done all of this, relax and enjoy your applause, and
the rest of the day!
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