 For
many grooms, their speech is the part of the wedding day that
is most dreaded. Few grooms are used to speaking in public
and find the thought of attempting such a task very daunting.
However, the basics of preparing and delivering a good speech
are quite simple. With the help of this article, a friendly
mentor, a little imagination and a sense of humour, the task
will not be as worrying as first imagined.
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Suggested
Content For Your Speech
Your speech is a reply on behalf of your wife and yourself
to the father of the bride's speech and toast. It traditionally
starts with "My wife and I..." which usually generates a
reaction from the guests!
For many grooms, the speech can give rise to a dilemma.
On one hand, a wedding is the occasion to express love for
your new wife and gratitude to both sets of parents, but
on the other hand, you don't want to come across as too
sentimental in front of friends! Therefore, it would be
helpful then to plan your speech as a happy medium between
the two.
Here are some suggested points to include, which are in
the order of their delivery. You may wish to pepper your
speech with a few jokes or anecdotes should you feel comfortable
with this:
Thank the father of the bride for his toast and good wishes.
He may have complimented you on your suitability for the
bride, so a reply may be that you hope you can live up to
his expectations.
Thank your guests for sharing your special day. Mention
those who have travelled a long way, if the father of the
bride didn't do this, or perhaps welcome friends of you
and your new wife rather than family members. This is a
good time to thank everyone for their gifts.
Thank your parents for their love and support over the
years and thank your new in-laws for bringing up their daughter
so well and providing you with a wonderful bride, to whom
you intend to devote your life in pursuit of her happiness!
You may at this juncture, present your mother and mother-in-law
with a gift such as a memento of the day or a bouquet of
flowers.
Compliment and praise your new wife. This is often the
most touching moment of the groom's speech. Thank her for
agreeing to marry you, and comment on the way she looks.
To ease embarrassment, look at your bride here, and speak
to her, but at a volume that your audience can hear. This
will provide a happy medium between appearing excessively
sentimental in front of friends and missing the opportunity
to publicly express your feelings for your new wife.
Thank your best man for his friendship, help and support.
This also serves as a good way of introducing your guests
to your best man. Use his name and briefly explain how you
know each other.
Thank the bridesmaids, which is a traditional task for
the groom to perform. However, you may decide, if the bride
is to speak, that she may prefer to do this for herself.
If not, and the task falls to you, thank the bridesmaids
for their help in preparing the wedding, and for the support
they've given the bride. If one bridesmaid was more instrumental
than the others, give her a special mention. You would then
present the bridesmaids with a gift, if they haven't already
received them.
A toast to the bridesmaids concludes your speech. Remember
to have a clear phrase that your guests can repeat after
you, for example, "Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding
for a toast (pause until everyone is standing with their
glasses raised) to... the bridesmaids."
The Groom can afford to be a little wobbly when making his
speech. It will be expected that you, as well as your bride,
will be feeling emotional, and a tear of pride and happiness
will add a new dimension to your speech!
Making
Speech Notes
If you have decided to write your speech out in note form,
you will need to emphasise your headings to make readily
identifiable cues for your speech. Keep in mind that you
will have to remember the whole section of speech from the
notes that you make, so don't make them too brief. Write
down the key words of sentences, remembering to include
important dates or names. It is amazing how easily you will
forget a person's name if under stress! If you would prefer
to write out the speech in full, write it out remembering
that you will be speaking it aloud.
Whichever method you choose, write your speech out clearly,
or type it with space between each line, so it is easy to
read. Another useful tip is to write each paragraph out
in a different coloured pen, or highlight each section of
type with a different coloured fluorescent marker. It is
claimed that if you lose your place, your eyes will automatically
go to the colour that it was last reading from. Try it and
see if it works for you!
Whether you type or write your speech, always make a copy,
with the same colours and marks on it. You can give this
copy to someone else to look after, eradicating the need
to worry about losing your speech.
Practise,
Practise, Practise!
Once you have written out your speech in whichever format,
practice reading it aloud over and over again! Start by
yourself, but once you feel more confident perform it to
a mirror, and finally a trusted friend. As well as reading
the speech for its content, read it standing as you will
to deliver it, looking up to your audience occasionally.
This will help you get used to performing your speech rather
than just reading it. The idea of these rehearsals is to
make you feel as comfortable with your speech as possible.
Once you feel relaxed with the content of your speech you
will feel more confident at the prospect of performing it
to a group of people. Remember to smile occasionally, but
don't force one if it doesn't feel right. Probably once
you are feeling happy at the wedding and once you realise
speech-making isn't as scary as you think it is, you will
feel able to smile naturally. Also remember you will need
to speak more slowly than you would in normal conversation,
as your voice will have to travel some distance. At the
rehearsal stage, the speed of delivery will make you feel
silly, but it will stand you in good stead for your performance.
Also plan for people to laugh at your jokes or murmur their
approval at things you will say. Don't speak over any noise;
laughter, murmurs or even applause, as the next thing you
say will be lost. Prepare to pause for a while and enjoy
your audiences' response to your performance. If they respond,
they are enjoying themselves!
On
The Big Day
Once you are well prepared, try not to let the speech overpower
the day and stop you enjoying the occasion. Let the speech
fall to the back of your mind throughout the ceremony at
least, otherwise you run the risk of remembering nothing
about the day apart from searing nerves. Consider avoiding
too much alcohol before your speech, as it may cloud your
judgement. This is especially true if you find a drink or
two slurs your speech (ask other people if drink affects
you in this way, they may be more aware than you!)
Although you will have practised raising your voice to deliver
your speech, if you are concerned that you may be too quiet,
or the venue is massive, ask one of the ushers or a member
of the venue staff to stand at the back of the room and
indicate if they can't hear you. Although probably not necessary,
this will give you peace of mind that everyone can share
in your speech.
When it is your turn to speak, don't stand until you are
introduced. The guests are likely to applaud you, and this
causes a good distraction for you to stand and clear your
throat. Begin your speech by taking a deep breath, and smiling
if at all possible! You will undoubtedly find that the moment
you begin your speech your worries will fall away. The adrenaline
will carry you to the end before you know it. If you make
an error, smile, correct yourself and continue.
Remember to speak slowly, especially as nerves will tend
to make you rush. If you feel yourself racing away, stop
take a deep breath and then continue. Above all, try to
enjoy making your speech, and try to think of the meanings
of the words you have written as you are speaking them,
rather than just reading your speech aloud. This will ensure
that you have conveyed to your audience the sentiment of
your speech and your feelings for the people you are speaking
about. At the end of your speech you are likely to be proposing
a toast. Invite your guests to stand to drink the toast,
then sit as they sit, after the toast.
Having done all of this, relax and enjoy your applause,
and the rest of the day!
Using
A Speech Writer
If you feel you are unable to write a speech of the quality
you would like to deliver or you have insufficient time
to write your masterpiece, you could opt for a speech written
by a professional speech writer. Speeches written by such
experts are customised with information you supply about
the subject of your speech so they do not have an impersonal
feel about them. A professional speech writer will also
supply cue cards in addition to the full speech text.
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